Thank you so much for this game. I just got to the chapter "Deeper" and I had to stop because I was so close to crying. This game is absolutely beautiful and it spoke to me in a way nothing has before. I'm currently on a work trip and am very, very, very lonely and my mind turned to what it always does: how lonely and isolated I feel. I never understood why I knew I was gay and yet couldn't actually be gay. I've never kissed, never done anything.
Then Zack explained it. I hate it and I wish I could just be... fuck, normal isn't the word because your story made it clear "normal" isn't worth jack shit. But I grew up in a religious household, my father walked out when I came out and spent the next week drinking. I wish I was something else sometimes, but I could never put that into words.
Being gay is so hard sometimes... it's easy to feel alone when you don't feel like anyone understands you. But Zack does. I'm getting teary just writing this, so I'll keep this part short, but I've never felt to seen. I don't care about the pride movement or what the world says I should be as a gay man, but I'm not traditional. I don't care about my clothes or anything I'm told gay men like.
I just exist and it's so liberating for a gay character to finally show that. I'll be honest- I downloaded this game looking for something far different from what I got and honestly I'm very happy you did me this service. I know you don't know me, but I'm sitting in an empty hotel room right now breaking down because for the first time in my life I get to see myself... and I don't know how to process it.
Your story has changed my life, seriously. Something inside my brain feels different now, like some portion of me that I was trying to change or suppress has come out of the shadows. I know I'm not Zack- I'm not naturally talented or calm and relaxed (at least, I'm not capable of putting up that kind of façade). But I see now I've allowed others to dictate just who I am- that I'm too loud or annoying. I even constantly put myself down. I'm not going to anymore. I'm going to try to be the person I can be proud of, because if I can't do that then what's even the fucking point? I don't need a fairytale kiss, but I'll be damned if I let myself die without showing myself who I am. Fuck the world and their opinions on who I am, from here on out I will try my hardest to be myself.
I kinda got off track there at the end... but thank you. For everything. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
I wish you the best with this. for me it was a journey. well, it still is and I'm ok with that. I figure if I act like the ride is over, then I really can't grow any more after that. You're very much into the part of the game where I started going off the rails and doing my own thing. I moved away from the old genre of VNs and just had an experience that really meant a lot to me and it was fun playing that out with the characters. I'm glad that Zack is able to validate some of your feelings and allow you to feel like you're part of something besides yourself. He helped me do the same and I'm eternally grateful. To me, the meaning of life isn't a hard question to answer, the answer is to find meaning in life. Like you said, otherwise, what's the point just existing? but also take that process at your own pace. work things out and be open to it making sense in your own way. dont rush into it. self improvement and development should be calculated. I hope you enjoy the last 2 chapters <3
I'm still kinda putting it off, to be honest. It's phenomenal but I sincerely don't want to finish. I almost feel like I'm disrespecting the story if I finish it, although why I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm just experiencing some painstaking growth and I'm not really used to it. I think about this story daily and how I can become a better person from it, which feels odd to me but also really great? I know you've probably got more important things going on, but thank you again. I'm going to try to be a better me for a while and see what it feels like. I owe it all to you. Thank you again and I look forward to see what comes next for you!
if you're too busy living your life to play my game, that's good enough for me. I smiled when I read this and please dont feel compelled to finish it. You dont have to. and that comes from me that wrote it. You're self reflections and revelations will do more for you personally than I ever can. when you're ready for my ending, it's here and it's free.... if you never need it, please accept that's ok too. may you find your version of happiness in this world <3
i just wanted to say thanks for creating this game, it helped me back in february where i wasnt feeling very well mentally and had to skip school until may bc of that but your game really went along with me through those months and i cannot explain how thankful i am tysm for making this oml and the characters and i cried so many times bc of how relatable they were omg. ngl im gonna replay it again now haha :D
wow, this really means a lot and I'm really glad you shared this. I'm glad you made it through those months and I'm thankful that my little project somehow had a role in that. i hope you continue to improve and take care of yourself. I think one thing that all these characters have in common is that they're good people and if you could relate to them then that probably means you're a good person too. keep your head up and keep moving forward 'cause even during the worst parts... well... nothing lasts forever. thanks for sharing this <3
I just want to say....I fucking hate this....cause I love it so much. I am a huge emotional wreck at the moment but definitely a story that is needed to be told. Can't recall how many times I have cried while reading this every time it updates. How each and every character I related to so much, since I have had similar experiences. This story and where I am at in life honestly is fucking resonating and I appreciate how it fucked me up emotionally.
haha. thank you for sharing your awful experience with my game :p
I'm kidding but nah, thanks. It's so weird that when i stripped off who i am and wrote something for the first time, i wrote a damn emotional romance story. Though, i'm sorry it fucked you up emotionally, I hope that turns into a healing process and not just a nuke that blew everything up. Obviously, i've been there, too, i wrote the damn thing and i wrote it in real time as i walked through it. I'm glad the story has meant something to you throughout all the updates and I hope you find a way to allow yourself peace and a happy ending that makes you cry for all the reasons you ever wanted <3
I'm a great fan of this game and I absolutely love the story (although I haven't played it 'till the end yet). Recently I read that you wanna add a soundtrack. Actually I have some experience with composing, mixing and mastering. So, if you want me to, I would love to compose some tracks for this.
heya. thanks for the interest. Yep, I'm working on music and sounds now for the remake. It's taken a bit of time to get started mostly because i'm navigating websites and copyright stuff but I'm anticipating that it'll speed up in the future. The first demo should have enhanced pictures that are lightyears ahead of what the original looked like as well as music and sound effects.
I think for someone like you that is interested in composing, I would probably be a pretty frustrating person to deal with, lol. This was a passion project from the start so I'm pretty attached to it-- which makes me stubborn and opinionated sometimes. However, when it comes to music, I can't really articulate what I want exactly. So I want something but don't know what I want, but I'm stubborn anyway, lmao. I just know when I find something and it feels right, then I squeal and point at it. So it's a weird thing for others to deal with when I'm not sure what I even want.
But I also wrote this story in real time and only planned a few parts of it in advance, so picking the music out one track at a time as I get to each point in the story is very on brand for me. However, that's probably awful for composers to deal with. One of my dev team guys is good with sound and has a good setup so he's putting up with me right now. I'm also looking at royalty free sites to make things legal. I seriously appreciate the interest. I've had a few people over the years interested in composing stuff but it's hard to help me out when I'm the only person that can hear it in my head and I have no idea how to describe it. It's mostly just inexperience on my part. If you have stuff you wanna pitch or send over, I'm very open to listening to it. I just don't want you to personalize it if I don't roll with it. I may actually publicly post the main menu before long and that has one track on it
I found this game and downloaded it on a whim. I had low expectations, preparing myself for a visual feast and "typical" gay storyline. Admittedly, the spelling and grammar need an editor (I'd be happy to help in that capacity), but I was quickly drawn into the story despite my cavalier attitude toward the content.
I'm not a gay man, though I am someone who holds all humans to be valuable in and of themselves, in addition to the experience and perspective each can provide. I have a background in several scientific fields, and have always tried to approach life based on evidence and my own core rule: minimize harm and maximize well-being.
I was not prepared for the depth of the story or the development of the characters presented. I reached the end of the present release and spent an hour crying, unwillingly thrust into my own past and all my moments with friends, lovers, and family.
Thank you for that. I'll be sharing this project with others who may need reminders of important lessons.
heya, I really appreciated the candid nature of this post. It made me laugh at first because I can relate to it. A lot of gay stories seem cliché or, in the adult realm, are just shallow and horny. Straight!? doesn't do anything crazy different other than trying to provide substance to the genre it's told in. It's a coming of age story and we've all read or heard tons of those. But, I did put a lot of passion into it and I'm pleased that people are able to actually feel that. I'm not sure your scientific background, I'm a psych guy and I think my story holds water within the psych field, regardless of theoretical orientation and I'm pleased to hear that you feel it holds weight in your eyes.
I have a handful of favorite responses from people and you nailed a few of them here. I like people starting this with low expectations and then being surprised. That's always fun to hear for a first time writer here. I also love when it holds up to people who aren't gay. I wanted to try and create a universal story here that was mostly applicable to those who have struggled with their sexuality, but I also wanted people who didn't, to find something from it-- even if it was just appreciating what you have and respecting your own journey of being in this world.
In terms of the writing, I do have a guy who helps me with editing. However (and this is a massive HOWEVER that I'm emphasizing here to defend him), most of the writing flaws and editing problems are probably still in there because I'm stubborn. I didn't write this story in an organized fashion, honestly I think I bled it over 5 years. The writing tone is inconsistent and there's massive run on sentences, that to me, read like a poetic rant that captures my voice and intentions at the time. When i'm frustrated about something I talk a lot and I know my speech throws punctuation out the window. That's real to me so i wanted to capture that within the story because of it's honesty. Time in the story is also kinda wonky because I've never written anything before. I didn't know how to structure that. Perhaps in a future project, I'll be more careful and outline things better. But this, in many spots, i left very raw. It's kinda like a journal that was turned into a fictional story. It's not perfectly structured or written and I was kindof protective in keeping it that way. That being said, the first 3 chapters are written very poorly and i can't stand them, lol. Those need some work and that's my next mission. But I know I broke a lot of literary rules in other parts of the story and much of that was intentional despite my co-writer suggesting otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
Also, thanks for sharing the story. I really appreciate that; especially if it's going to help someone or remind them of something important. I appreciated your post and thank you for taking the time to write it :)
aww. i'm a big fan of mikhail too. There's really only one romance route in this game though. it's my first game and rather than allow things to get spread out everywhere, i wanted to narrow my focus and do one really good route
Finished the 'game' way too fast but enjoyed every bit of it. I'm also a total sucker for happy endings! All good. Only observation: the dialogue covers a great deal of your art... did you ever consider balloons for the text, instead?
heya. glad you liked it. so you can hit H to hide the dialogue screen if you wanna see more of the pictures. In terms of the bubbles, it was something i thought about but i'm not really sure how to do that other than make a new overlay image for every single line of dialogue (which is around 50,000 so the amount of work to do that would probably take me 6 months just to do the dialogue bubbles so i kinda talked myself out of it
You're asking the wrong guy... I know zilch about the technical aspects involved for such an update. But in my uneducated opinion, I would assume that copy/paste and farming out the grunt work to eager volunteers could expedite the process? Having the dialogue at the bottom with the - sometimes - hard to read name of who's talking was somewhat of a distraction, at least for me. It also caused me to 'race' through the first two chapters. (As you accurately pointed out in one of your remarks...) Since that seems to be a commonality among the ranks of your fans, t h a t may be the cause? On the other hand, text balloons would require a work-around to process name changes (Mom-Fucker/Max/Ash, for example) but there's a solution for that. I did become attached to the characters and by chapter 3 actually started to give a shit what would happen to them. And I'm not sure what your plans are but you could keep this thing going for a long time. Heartstopper (Netflix) apparently is shifting focus away from the first season two main characters and that could be a distinct possibility for Straight!? - Book 2? Let the boys live in some summer break bliss as supporting cast and spin a tale around the other characters your fans really like? I'll shut up now. Thanks for the fast reply! Hank
yeah, the beginning is rough and i'm not happy with it. it very much started out like the typical cliche adult game and that type of story, once i got going on it, was just too shallow and simple for me. i wanted to do a lot more with it so i started to take some chances and people will followed me on it and I'm grateful for that. i'd like to go back and keep that same vibe going throughout the whole time. now there are some ui changes in the newest update with the text box and i'll also be looking at the font a bit. that being said, there still may be issues. I'll be honest when i admit that i dont think about the textbox when i do the images. i just do the shot that my heart tells me to and that's it.
in terms of season 2's and stuff. I've thought about those types of approaches with other characters. we'll see. i'm staying open with it. what i'm not gonna do is just try and run the story into the ground to milk subscriptions from people. I'm not doing something else unless i think it really matters and hopefully people are receptive to that. i refuse to half-ass projects or just do fan-service stuff just to make a buck, ya know? story all the way here
(Your time spent writing candid replies to others and myself is commendable!)
All of the writing I have done my entire life has been freelance and voluntary. Despite being praised straight into heaven at times, I never went as serious as you have even though there is a lot out there. But this I know; your 'problem' as a talented artist is that just like Rembrandt and van Gogh, you do not consider the frame your product ends up in or how it will be attached for display. Starry Night in a butt-ugly frame looks horrendous because that diverts the attention away from where Vincent intended it to be. Presentation needs to avoid distraction at all cost.
Your issue is twofold because it is a combination of beautiful imagery and a written story. As it is now, the crescendo of emotions coupled with the teasing and sexual tension is amazing. Your intent to follow your heart rather than a fast buck is valid but I suspect that the expectations of your followers echo your desire to not let this thing end and die yet.
As you say yourself, the difference between the initial chapters and the rest is obvious. And in the end and as with almost every other accomplished artist; whatever you come up with and create from the soul, we will all love.
i appreciate the take and the advice and the kind words :). i'm very much still in a learning phase with all of this. hopefully, I always will be. i have no desire to become an expert or any cockiness that may come with that. we'll see where my heart takes me on things. bad sequels can ruin things for some people-- they do for me-- and that's just not worth it, even if i made some cash off it. after spending the last 5 years with these characters, i refuse to exploit them. we'll see :)
oh, and yeah, i try and answer every post. i'm sure a couple have slipped by because the notifications aren't the best. I think i've only ignored one post purposely and that was just someone trying to bait me and I was over that. Other than that, I do try and seriously read and reply to everything i see. people like that and I appreciate the involvement
I f loved the story. The characters where so human and everything was real and relatable for as querr people. Thank you so much. Hope you get more ad more famous and get tons of money for this work of art. I'm also an artist currently learning so I can also turn digital. My dream is work with 3D stuff and video games. Thank you for your inspiration. I wish the best to you an everyone important in your life. May y'all live a long, healthy and happy love. 😊
haha. I appreciate the love. Hopefully, I dont get too famous, though, I still like keeping things kinda small and personal around here and I don't wanna get too big where I can't do that. It's a major fear of mine but this thing is already much bigger than I ever anticipated. I'm honored to have this thing be a creative inspiration to you and I wish you all the success on your own project(s). If you ever wanna send a link over, lemme know. It's kinda cool to see what comes out of the inspiration from this thing. So thank you for dropping me a line and I'm really glad you enjoyed it but more importantly I wish you shared health and love as well <3
I just wanted to say thank you. The story was amazing. The characters were so well written that I became attached to every single one (more Ash content please!). This whole game was so well done. I really hope you continue to develop more content. I'm a new fan!
that’s an old save error. Old saves will crash the game. Go back to the main menu and click new game then update and you should be good after that. You’ll just have to start the update over again
yep. np. on PC you can hold CTRL down to fast forward but I'm not sure if there's an equivalent on Android or not. Definitely go back and replay though because you probably missed stuff if you loaded an old save. I try to warn people during the boot up with that warning screen but a lot of people miss it.
awww. glad you liked it tho. i'd rather end something on my terms for the purpose i set out on than run it into the ground forever, ya know? I miss em already, too, though...
hi aaryn I just wanted to say loved the game and Im sad to see it end really hope in future I really hope you make another game that continues Zach and Braden’s story and maybe we will see them succeed in the sex part 🤣🤣🤣
hi! thanks for the love. I’m probably not going away any time soon if people want more from me. I’m gonna put a thick coat of polish on this game first then and I may survey the landscape and see what direction I’m going next 😊
I created this account just to congratulate you on your game. I never write review but this time I simply had too. This is not an average VN, you crafted a beautiful story with loads of depth that really involve us emotionally. I wanted to thank you for the experience.
I stayed up late yesterday just to finish it and have to admit that I cried a bit at the end reflecting on my own life and journey. I feel like I had my Braden in my life, sadly didn't had the ending I wished for nor even closure. Life is not always perfect but it is the uncontrollability of the others surrounding us that makes everything unique. It is very rare to find material that makes you relate to it, makes you question and wonder about your own action. I loved the evolution of the characters, theirs questioning and mindset.
You are a great storyteller, I will look forward for any project of yours if you one day you decide to make more but this is quite a masterpiece in it's own genre. Thank you so much for this game, the time and effort that you put into it to embark us in a journey and also thank you for making it available here for free. You really didn't had to and your art is truly worth financing, those times are tough and it is nice to be able to access such quality content even though I am not in the best financial situation at the moment.
I hope this project will have a great reach and that people can hop on this engaging story. Thank you for everything, I wish you success in your life and projects. I hope you have more adventure to share, you are truly gifted.
I seriously appreciate the account creation just to leave a comment. That means a lot so thank you. I'm glad the story hit you although I'm sorry about the tears, but I do like that you were able to relate it to yourself and get something personal out of it. That's really one of the major reasons i even worked on it publicly in the first place--otherwise this would have just been a personal thing that sat on my computer somewhere just for me.
I appreciate the kind words about the storytelling. I think I definitely got better as the game progressed and I've appreciated all the help and feedback I've gotten over the years. In terms of the game being free... yeah... I never had a desire to charge for it because I'm not professional. The updates are inconsistent sometimes despite me trying really hard so I never wanted to charge people for the inconsistency or my own inexperience. Plus, if the story was helpful to people, I didn't want the financial stuff to stand in their way. People have been kind to help me finance and they've been patient as I've learned the ropes over the years and I'm grateful for that. The least I can do is pay it forward and continue to make the project free. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the time you took to drop me a line <3
the way im feeling after this cant even be put into words.
ive played this before (and commented before) but with the final main update i did a full replay (which... took like three days.)
and it was just. amazing. such an experience. i laughed and i cried and there were moments where i just shook with nerves at what might happen next -- i got unusually invested in this story, to say the least. but it completely shook me. this game, this story, this experience was just a work of art. i cant help but find myself wishing for more, to know how their story goes. but, you know what they say...
nothing lasts forever.
so i just wanted to thank you once again for making this. ive seen how much it affected people, but ive felt how much it affected me. this game stuck with me since the first time i played, and i think it will continue to for a long time. zack was right -- "too many gay stories have sad endings" -- and im glad this one didnt. it gives me hope. it gave me courage to be unapologetically myself, because if people dont love me for who i am then they dont belong in my life either. and it brought me comfort, in things that ive struggled with for a long time.
this was beautiful. thank you for making it, and i hope to see more from you in the future. but even if i dont, i hope this game brought you happiness, just like it did for me and so many others. i think ill find myself returning to this game for a long time.
lol. this game got sooo freaking long, lol. I dont blame you for taking 3 days to go through it. I have new players pop into our Discord and claim they went through it in one sitting and i'm like wtf! lol. It takes me several days to get through a full read (which I think I've only done like 4 times).
I'm glad you went through the rollercoaster of emotions during the story. I think those are fun to experience. I know I experience them when I write it so it's always amazing to hear that it pays off and someone else rides right along with you.
This project has brought me happiness. It's been cathartic and the number of people that's it's impacted is staggering. I seem to get more letters by the day and that's ... well... it's honestly beyond anything that I can describe. It just feels good and I'm grateful for that.
I'm working on fixing the beginning now so I promise it'll only get better. This was just the rough draft *wink
omg i cant say much more then what was already said . wow wow and wow. like in still crying this is by far the best storie/game what ever you like to call it i have every read. as a gay man in my 50's sad to said i am zack i it made me open my eyes to alot.. i know this was the end but like alot of others i wish there was more to come..... great work aaryn and to everyone that work on this.... hugs to you all
I don’t know what to say. I’ll start by saying, as I’ve said many times before, thank you. Just.. thank you. For everything. This story has meant so much to me, on so many different levels. I feel like I know both characters intimately.. i see parts of both of them in myself. To see my own flaws and neuroses worked through throughout the story, and so eloquently, has been humbling. I only finished the update a couple of minutes ago and I’m still a little bit tearful tbh haha. Partly because the end was so touching, both the words and the visuals.. the fade, the snapshots of past scenes, the change from original to new during the embrace. But also partly because of this sense of loss. I’ve only been part of this for about a year, but It’s weird how much this all came to mean to me. I’m 27 but never got my moment, my chance, my train station, my Braden, and this isn’t my story but I lived through it. I don’t have too much in life, and I’m not a well bloke, so I’m glad I managed to see how this ended.
Well, time to start going through depression, anger, bargaining, denial and acceptance haha! Seriously though, sincerely, thank you for.. for giving me the chance to feel something, if only fleetingly. And thank you for putting so much time and effort into it. I hope I manage to get to see what you do in the future! <3
heh, well I will begin by first apologizing for all the stages of grief you're heading into but know that I, too, have forded them since the update. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm always humbled when people have an emotional reaction to the story. Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked the ending. I was worried about it for a few reasons that mostly centered around how to try and capture the cinematic moments that I saw in my head. But more importantly, I hope you find your train station someday. And no worries on the emotions; I wrote the damn thing and it took me a few weeks to sort through my own.
im not surprised.. I think a lot of us are dealing with the grief! I’m not sure what the cinematic moments look like in your head obviously, but to me at least they were perfect. Poignant and enough.
Thank you for your hope, but I don’t believe I’ve got enough time left to find my train station irl, but I felt like I got to live it briefly through your story, through Zack. For giving me that you have no idea how thankful I am. I wish you nothing but the very best, thanks again. <3
Well, I appreciate you living vicariously through the characters. Even if it was fictional. I hope it was still an experience for you and I appreciate the opportunity to share that. I'll think positively for you, though, and I truly wish you all the best as well <3
That was an incredible journey, but not just for Zack and Braden. It's crystal clear that you have evolved immensely as a creator, writer and artist during this project too.
The quality of the finale showcases just how much effort and thought you put into the final product. It's leaps and bounds ahead of the previous chapters, and certain moments were positively cinematic (train station lights out scene, especially with the stunning fade-in of past-Braden into present-Braden).
Since you're going to go back and remaster the earlier chapters, I can only applaud you in your efforts. I know many people would move on to another project, but your desire to bring this project that bit closer to perfection is what will most certainly set you apart and above as an artist.
From the get-go, when you said in your introduction that this would be a slow burn, I had the feeling that this project would be a labor of love, not your run of the mill VN on itch.io. Now that the story has concluded for now, I think it's fair to say that this was certainly no common VN. It was special. It was unforgettable. The story you have written and the characters you have brought to life will live in my mind alongside some of my favorite stories and characters.
Heh, thanks for noticing the progress. It's labor of love for sure. Unfortunately, some of that love slowed me down sometimes but I hope that paid off in the final product. I'm still learning. I do plan to go back through and do a revamp. I'm working on it as I type now, actually. It'll be a massive image quality enhancement to the beginning part of the game as well as tighten up the writing. I got better and I think the beginning deserves that. I don't want to spend forever on it but I want to finish it and do it justice. I appreciate your comments and I'm humbled by the kind words. Thank you <3
haha, well thank you very much. I seriously appreciate it. I'm pretty proud of the ending and I'm glad people saw it for the things I intended. Thank you for taking this project seriously. It's insane how long this stuff takes when you really friggen care about the product. I'm glad you thought it was worth the wait. I really tried.
Also, I'm humbled that this helped motivate your own stuff, look me up and share it sometime. I'd be interested <3
Sorry, I forgot I'd posted this here so I wasn't looking for a reply. Didn't mean to come across as ghosting.
My own story is less about self-acceptance and more about surviving with a closeted side in the US Navy in the 1980s. I was just going to write something up in Word but renpy really lets you tell the story in a satisfying way. Don't know if I'll ever share it publicly, at least in the raw form with everyone's real names.
Unfortunately I'm getting some error where I'm stuck in a loop. The conversation gets to "Well....let's play it by ear" and then these pop up and then resets the conversation to "So what are your plans for the summer?". I cannot progress further than this :(... (I'm hitting ignore on those messages and rollback does not work)
Yep, I tried to warn people a couple times about the save game errors. That "not defined" error there is because you used an old save file. Old save files will crash the game. Just delete your old copy of the game and from the main menu, click New Game then Update and you should be good to go :)
If you clicked ignore on any of those, it literally skipped entire scenes so you may wanna go back
Gotcha, thanks for the quick response and sorry about the late reply...I was running around but thought about this all day and was actually in the mindset that I'd have to start all over from the beginning but I wouldn't have minded that at all(unlike how I would with other titles) as your masterpiece is just that enjoyable and worth it! I cannot tell you how much that I enjoyed this title, made me even more comfortable with my Bi side of my sexual orientation, and when I get my freelance art steady and reliable...you better believe I'm gonna swing your Patreon and projects some additional funds(I've donated in the past where I could ;) ) cheers!
Nope, you dont have to start completely over. Just do the New Game/Update thing and you'll be set. Also, glad the game helped you process some stuff. I spent a lot of time in my head, too. No worries on rushing into supporting but thank you on your past financial support and just for being a fan. Good luck on the freelance stuff, too, I hope it works out for ya
This game has enthralled me so much. I spent most of both my days off playing and still got a bit more to go. I did not think I'd like it this much at all. The story. the story. Such a slow burn but the payoff when it gets there is everything. Enjoying the characters so much. Side characters included. I adore Mikhail and he deserves the best. Also as someone demisexual, I really do relate to one of these characters too much. Giving me a demi vibe from early on tbh. Doing the respected path because I was more comfortable with that but must say I'm intrigued by the idea of how different the other path would be. Not sure if I'll play through it, though. This experience playing this has been really different than any other game I've played. I really applaud the creator.
heya, glad you're liking the story so far. I've mostly avoided labels in this game for many of the reasons that the story outlines, but picking up on demi vibes throughout the game seems very reasonable. In terms of the "routes" in the game, you don't have to play all the way through. The game is linear and then splits with that specific choice for the route. From there, aspects of the game are written vaguely that could apply to both routes. It's basically a subtle tone difference in the game until chapter 9. In Chapter 9, it takes a completely different approach and one scene changes the whole tone of the route. Both routes are designed like that. Rather than have full paths, I wrote one path that could be interpreted two different ways. To me, those ways are independent of each other and cannot co-exist but some readers have chosen to assume they co-exist. But you could just play chapter 9 from the New Game menu and select the other route and you'd get the jist of the story and save yourself time.
But thanks a lot. I appreciate the support and glad you're liking it. I think the game mostly gets better as you play it. I sorta got more comfortable and started doing my own thing and that really paid off to me personally rather than just trying to do a cookie cutter game format
so when it comes to translations, I've been holding off on them. I'm very unsatisified with the beginning of the game so my next focus is going to be redoing it. I'm not changing the story, I'm just polishing it up and doing some coding changes to make it more linear and less annoying. Because of that, the dialogue and writing will change and I don't want to waste anyone's time with translating something that I'm planning on changing. I'm open to translations, I just want something concrete first. But there's actually been quite a bit of interest in Portuguese
This is not a game, it is an experience.. which on so many levels is so relateable that calling it a game would be demeaning.. I'm close to 50 , and this experience feels so familiar to me for close to 40 years now. Mostly, I stay in the closet because of my mother, who always sent out conflicting signals.. "I would rather not see it, but if you would turn out to be not exactly straight as an arrow I'd accept it... propably..." She always had my back and helped me though, so I feel I can't dissappoint her now, in her twilight days, sadly.
And for fear of how my colleagues would react, which is silly since I'm a trucker so I spend most of the day alone or talking with customers anyway. It's in my head always about what others will think and how people will judge me that forever keeps me from coming clean with myself.
Odd.. I've never spoken to anybody about this. Not in real life, and not online. And yet, here I am, admiting to myself and to the world who I really am. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, aaryn.reese !
I'll be certain to keep an eye on this experience to see if any updates are made. and I have maybe an odd question:
I bought a paysafecard exactly to be able to reward some people on here with a little money but the projects I was thinking of supporting use patreon, with a membership thingy, and that just isn't gonna work for me since I don't know for certain if I'll be able to keep paying in the future.
But do you maybe have a means I can use the card to donate it to you? With the emotional thunderstorm you have created in me, I feel like it is the least I could do.. I don't know if private messages are a thing here, but by all means, feel free to drop by, it'd be an honor!
I don't know you but I appreciate you and your story. I'm humbled to be a part of you saying this for the first time. I'm not that different really. I just took around 55,000 lines of fictional code to say it. It feels weird but the more I say it, the easier it gets. I think you're the first person that I remember calling it an "experience," that's an incredible way to look at it and it makes me smile. I don't think I've created anything worthy of that yet but I don't want to diminish your own individual experience. I think we get out what we put into things. If this has generated self exploration on your part, that's usually a good thing. I think the more people are truly themselves, the happier they are.
In terms of financial stuff, I get weird about that tbh. I don't like taking money from people in the first place. Patreon normally makes that easy and it takes credit cards and stuff which are fairly popular and it places the control of that within the user and not me--which I prefer. However, other things like prepaid cards, it's a little weird about. I don't think itch takes those either. Honestly, it probably depends on the type of card. I honestly don't like people jumping through a lot of hoops just to give me money... I genuinely feel guilty about that. You could try it through here or try it through Patreon to see if it works... I'm not sure. But don't feel obligated or anything. As I've said before, I make the game free for a reason. That can easily apply to people that choose not to have the payment methods that the website I use take. However, if I have a recommendation, I'd try Patreon first, there's more content you unlock for donations over there rather than over here where I can't control what people see or don't see. So if you're gonna try and donate, you may as well get the extra content. Lemme know if it works or anything or if you're not up to that, that's fine, too. I don't wanna blow your offer off but I also don't wanna make you work a lot to give me money, ya know <3
No worries. I was actually slow responding over here lately because of the update release and keeping up with comments on the discord and stuff. Hopefully that slowness didn't come across wrong <3
Hey man, you're doing so much for many people, I for one am happy that updates take priority over social media, which is awesome news btw, thank you very much!
The post was mainly me hoping you personally had met people who are as open, understanding and loving as the personages in Straight!?.
That is living the dream, and a total abscence of people like that can lead to some dark places where love don't grow. Self loathing thrives there in abundance though.
Ah well, that was the gist of it, the rest was basically interjecting personal experiences into it which didn't serve any purpose besides feeding a certain sense of emotional exhibitionism,
Anyway, thanks again for your work, past and present, much appreciated!
*edited to add* Not prioritizing money only makes me like you more, Respect man!
I usually start the day with answering messages then jump into the writing stuff or game stuff. Depending on what I'm doing with the game or the ideas I have, sometimes that stuff can get pushed back or stall out even. Other times, I'm watching videos and still trying to learn how to do this. After 5 years, you'd think I'd know what I'm doing but it was all so foreign to start with and the amount of things you have to juggle and learn can spread you thin. After updates, though, I usually get hit hard with messages and stuff and I've always made it a mission to answer every one of them. I don't like leaving comments sitting without a reply and people seem to appreciate that.
Hi. I just read all three posts and it's beautiful. I'm not very good with words like you are. But I think that you made a wonderful game. I think that a lot of people came and supported you because you made genuine art that blows people away. Your abilities are great and created the need for more in others. I actually was coming back here because I wanted to recommend you game to a friend of mine who I think could use this game. You're just that good. I've been here from I think when Act 1 was ending. And it's been a wonderful ride, and something that helped me hold on through college. I wanted to thank you for making this game accessible to many, even those how are still trying to get financially stable like me. I one day hope that I become stable enough to donate even a $1 a month for you continue on. If I remember correctly, you had a secret project that you were working on a long while back that only patrons would get a peek at. I wish you well and maybe will live through your friend Blyke's game New Hope. And again Thank you.
PS even though I know the real reason we get a chapter select with the game is due to saves not working between builds. It ended up making this game one of the most special experiences because it meant I got to see all the paths without confusing myself with saves. Getting to see the perverted path and the respected path and the real diverge between the two was great. I thank the misfortune of saves not being good across builds, since it gave me this beautiful gift of chapter select that was unique in a way that I can't put into words other than, made my experience better. And thank you for creating a solution rather than some other creators I've seen that say please deal with it. You cared about all of us, and it showed in the little ways you loved your fans like this. Thank you.
I feel like I recognize your screen name from somewhere but idk, i may be crazy. Thank you for the long term support and following. You've probably seen a lot of my ups and downs in that amount of time.
So I'll probably ramble here like I do when I write the game text but you hit on one of those random compliments that holds a lot of weight with me and I just wanted to acknowledge that it was really meaningful. You said that you thought your friend could "use this game." It's weird that I really set out to try and create something like that but since I've never done it before, I didn't really know how to. So I just wrote something that moved me and, like Zack, I'm pretty stubborn on some things that can sometimes hold me back. I'm glad that you saw the use in this and it wasn't just another random porn game.
And no worries on the price and accessibility. I wanted to make it accessible and because I wanted the story to matter to people, I didn't want money to hold people back. I think a lot of devs, or even porn games, get super money hungry on things and it's hard to see past that and take it serious. This isn't OnlyFans and I never intended to get rich off it. Still dont and honestly, I feel like I'd feel awkward if I ever accidently did. Please don't worry about the financial support. Seriously. College expenses suck. I still got over 100k in college debt from my college experience so I completely understand. Please don't feel obligated to donate and don't feel less because you're not in a position to support. Others have been more than generous to helping take care of the expenses. You never have to be, if makes you feel better, then consider the story a "gift" and now we're even. You wrote me a thoughtful post about the game and recommended it to a friend, you've more than paid your $1. Thank you in return <3
Sooooo I just read your public thank you.....I already loved your work dearly and I'm always trying to share it with others....you really know how to connect with pple. Lol You seem like a wonderful person based on your creative personality and how you present yourself. I hope you continue to create special moments for pple even outside of your work. I know I don't know you personally but I see great things in your future bc a story like this one takes more than a creative mind. It takes a kind and understanding heart. One that can be vulnerable, supportive and an overall good person. Keep up the good work bc your work seems to really be inspiring pppe in this hateful and judging world we live in. It's not all bad honestly but pple like you help us see the light when things seem so dark. Some sense of direction when there is no where to go.
My bad for running on. Please enjoy the rest of your day and thanks again for what you do
First off, thank you for the support and for sharing the story with others. That's actually how I've managed to get the word out is just mostly from word of mouth. While advertising is nice, it always feels better when others are inspired by the story enough to spread the word for you. I just like the feeling of that so I appreciate it. It's also one of the dozen reasons the game is free.
I'll also say thank you for the more personal compliment. I'm just a regular guy, though, really. There's very much a lot of me in the characters and that includes both positive and negative characteristics. I'll admit that writing this has made me very vulnerable but I wouldn't change that. I like the parts of me, even the not-so-pretty parts that I've managed to capture here. Sorta like I snapshot from where I was compared to where I am now. I'm deeply touched that you see the work as something positive though with everything going on in the world. If I had a vision for it, it would be that. An adult game with heart that has a point and you walk away a different person because of that. It's a super niche focus but I like it and It feels really good when someone picks up on that so thank you.
Wow! I tried a few games on this platform and this definitely stood out!
Honestly, I was primarily going for a nsfw game and this game is not primarily about nsfw—BUT that doesn't change that I'm pretty impressed by the game. It has enough nsfw content, but the plot is strong enough to stand out on its own. The plot doesn't serve the nsfw content, it's deep, it's thoughtful and the slow pacing is realistic. This game is addictive, like literally.
I know, the game is still in development, so don't interpret my feedback as harsh. Whatever I criticize now, you might already know and want to change when you go over it. Furthermore, these are small points of criticism, so they don't diminish the quality of the game:
Sometimes, there are long parts without "decisions". There are some points at which you'd be able to add some decisions. Even though, it doesn't change the outcome that much, eases the experience in my opinion
Even though, they point it out in-game, parts of the game feel like running in circles with ever the same activities and dialogues. I'm pretty sure, you can add a bit to that and probably already work on that
Some locations (especially the lecture hall) seem to be pretty empty. I know that you didn't want to add too many characters and Ernie appearing and disappearing makes it a bit more interactive but there is—yet slight—room for improvement, I guess
Last but not least, who wrote the verbal exchanges between Zack and Braden? Kudos to them? They are absolutely off the scale. I just love these dialogues 👍🏻
Thanks for checking in and I'm glad the game stood out from such a large website here. The search function around here is also pretty hard to navigate too so I'm glad you stumbled across me however that may have happened.
That being said, I take criticism pretty well and most of the limitations I've had with this story could probably be summarized as inexperience and budget. All of the things you've noted are things that I've either considered or are aware of. Since you took some time to write a lengthy post, I'll do the same for a response. A lot of the "decision" type stuff was something that I slowly moved away from because of organizational problems. When you're mapping these VNs out, choices and the variables can quickly get out of hand. For example, a few years ago, I was trying to do the poker scene and I had every hand have a winner and loser, that alone quickly branched out to like 60 different paths in one scene. It was insane. I'll also admit that my concentration is absolute garbage. If you spent any time in the Discord or talked with me on voicechat, you'd see how quickly I can derail myself. So because of that, I made the conscious decision to limit the choices to a number that I could handle. I decided I'd have less choices and try to do those routes right rather than have choices everywhere and just lose focus on everything. That being said, I plan on doing a revamp based on what I've learned and there will likely be some things added in if I have the budget and time to do it. So we'll see. But yeah... you're totally right. The choices are limited here.
2. Running in circles. So that part is likely going to be fixed on the revamp. The reason that plays out like that is this game started in 2017 and the majority of the adult games were grind-based. You had skill points that you had to grind up by doing the same events over and over and then eventually unlock the next tier. That required more coding skill and to be honest, I'm pretty awful at that so I slowly just moved away from it. I tried to quick fix the beginning but it's still pretty bad to the point that I can't even play it anymore. So I want the story to be more linear like it is post-chapter 3 (I think that's when the circles stopped).
3. Empty school. This one is kinda funny and I'll make fun of myself. Truth is that the reason the school is empty is because of computer issues. When I started, I could only render one model at a time in the screens mostly. That lasted until a *spoiler hint here * certain park scene with motion. After that, I was able to upgrade the computer system I have based on Patreon donations and after that scene, you noticeably see a little more detail. over time, I gradually was able to add more people in until hit about 5 max. Which brings me to the current rig. I now have a new computer based on Patreon donations and I can get about 10 people in and maybe more. The tradeoff is that it takes hours to position all those for every shot so it does slow down production but it looks better. We'll likely see more students in the school during the revamp. In fact, there's a sarcastic dialogue line in the game somewhere where I have one of the characters say that sometimes it feels like they're the only students there--- that's me totally busting myself out :p
4. Dialogue is all me except Blayke, my co-writer wrote the scene in the car where they're driving to a sandy location. If you spent 5 minutes talking to me, you'd know where that dialogue came from, lol. I write exactly like I talk :P
Thank you for your equally lengthy reply! I don't know, how I found it. I played three other games before, but yours was the only one that made me literally addicted. Funny that this is not the only time, I was looking for nsfw stuff and ended up with something not primarily nsfw that I absolutely love ^^
Yeah, I absolutely see your point. Maybe I should add that I'm a web application developer, so I know what coding is like. However, despite looking into game development a couple of times, I always had loads of respect for those who choose that field of software development since the focus is pretty much on details that happen in a split second or influence almost every other detail during the progress of playing the game.
What I called "decisions" could be roughly divided into two or three sub categories: On one hand, we have the "influential decisions" that would make stuff quite complicated as you said, but then we have more like "conversation topics" that don't matter, and the player can just decide the order in which they take place or skip them. I don't say, that a game should be cluttered with decisions, I sometimes get bored when I have to click over and over again without being challenged with making decisions every now and then—I hope, that makes sense. Or to put it a little different: If it feels more like a continuous movie, maybe the dialogue should proceed without me having to click all the time :D Especially the inner monologues at night, where the background is all black could be over the whole screen to have fewer pieces to click through.
3. Yeah, I like your meta jokes very much. It's good to have that kind of humor as a creator 👍🏻 Thanks for sharing a few technical details with me. I am constantly curious how this or that was implemented.
4. Actually, I haven't talked to you yet, but it sounds like it would be great fun, and I'd be a fool if I miss out on a chance to. However, I neither have Discord nor Patreon—turns out, I'm a fool after all.
haha, no worries on the Discord or Patreon. I'll be uploading the update over here 3 weeks after I release it on Patreon. The Patreon donations just help with all the expenses and stuff so they get first dibs.
And yep, I agree with you on the decisions and stuff. So one thing you may not have considered (and honestly I still can't get over this part even after a few years now). But one problem with putting large reading sections on the screen at the same time deals with non-English speaking readers. I honestly still don't know how non-English readers can get through my writing with all the generational slang but thousands do. But there's been loads of people that will copy this game into Google translate line by line. You simply can't do that when you make it into a movie or animated sequence. There's one sequence that has words on it in the game and I didn't do any more than that because I didn't wanna leave the non-English speakers out. I assume that copying that into translate would be just as complicated if I loaded a wall of text as a slide (kinda like I did my giant damn thank you page).
Another weird writing quirk I apparently had with this project is that I frequently say that I "lost control of the characters." At some point, this story began writing itself and I found myself, even as the writer, not really having choices on what they did. That sorta got passed down to the reader as well. I figured if I didn't get a say in this outcome anymore, than neither is the reader. We're in it together and for some reason, I kinda like that. The fact that I couldn't control outcomes made me more anxious as nervous as a reader. The tense scenes seemed more tense because i couldn't go back and choose something better to rescue them. I kinda like that
Donating works from over here as well ^^ And honestly, the game is worth every cent, possibly more. And you really deserve that for the effort you put into all of this.
As a non-native speaker, I can tell that I have seen "worse"- Your writing didn't bother me and I don't recall any hard to read parts. People might wanna switch from Google Translate to Deepl.com. That one uses neural language processing (fascinating topic tbh) and translations feel quite natural. Have you considered making the game multi-language by letting the community input translations? But that might be a lot of extra work. I just thought, if they already kinda did that for themselves, they might wanna share it with others this way. Yeah, I imagined my solution looking kinda like your thank you page indeed.
Here's another thought, I just had on this: Maybe, some people want to skip optional monologues. How do you feel about adding something like a "page x of y" (maybe more like "(x/y)") on the bottom?
I absolutely what you mean about that aspect of writing. This is sometimes just wild. It often times feels like the story already exists out there (Plato might have called that "World of Forms"—sorry for getting philosophical ^^) and it somewhat just flows through you, your arm, your hand, your fingers and your pen onto the piece of paper or the keyboard onto the screen. Another thing I do while plotting for a story, I wait for an idea to ripe. Sometimes, the way, I wanted that one subplot to play out, just doesn't feel right to one of my characters. In that case, I wait longer until the character comes up with a slight alteration that keeps the general idea intact while making it coherent for the character to decide or act a certain way toward a specific goal.
I'm pretty sure, Ash wouldn't have played the game :D Don't tell me, you didn't have him say that on purpose :P
I just finished v0.20.5, and you absolutely killed it with the "Never have I ever" bar scene. I was laughing my ass off and with every line of dialogue I thought, you couldn't top that, but boy was I wrong! I said it before, and I say it even more now: There was sex in there, and it was good, but it was nothing compared to characters, story, emotions and humor. I could finish the character's sentences—that's how well you introduced us to each of them. In the spirit of 'honest day' I have to admit that I couldn't help but join them playing 'Never have I ever'—it was just too much fun—well, I know, it is ridiculous. I actually don't remember the last time I laughed THAT much. You should really consider, continuing to use your talent—I'd so love to see more of that, and I'd miss it, if I couldn't. Your frienda must enjoy playing drinking games with you so much! And you were right about the language thing: I actually had to look stuff up 😅—not much, but still.
First of all to say that I just registered because I can't do anything else but think about this game and I want to share my opinions. Before clarifying that English is not my first language and I'm not very good at speaking it.
Something that has caught my attention in the story is how connected I feel with the characters even though I personally haven't experienced practically any of the situations they suffer. I have fallen in love with Zack and Braden, they are very complex and three-dimensional characters, with tastes, fears, emotions, ways of speaking, moving, etc.
By the way, applaud the improvement that can be seen, comparing the last chapters with the first ones shows the great improvement in the game as well as in the script.
It is not a criticism that I want to comment on below, it is more a personal opinion that nobody should care about, but I feel that the characters are too handsome and perhaps it makes me realize that I am in a game.
The relationships between the characters are very realistic, they feel like people I could meet at any time but I must say that my absolute favorite and without a doubt is Braden, and I think that within the internal problems of each character he is the one that interests me the most, I really liked that conversation with Zack about his orientation after arriving in the new bedrooms and the bathroom scene and I'm curious to see the answer to his questions, although I have my own opinion on that subject I can't stop thinking about the conclusion to the one that Braden can reach. AND I LOVE BRADEN WITH GLASSES.
I don't like the original dormitory building, it reminds me of my college building and brings back bad memories because it's identical and every time I went to that building it was to find out very important news.
Finally to say that I have a mixture of love and hate for the game, I love it because it is great, wonderful and I have been playing it non-stop since I started. The bad thing is that when I finished it I felt empty, I tried to play other things or watch some series or movie but I can't concentrate because I keep thinking about what is going to happen to Zack and Braden and others.
So first off: you English is very good so no worries at all. I continue to be amazed that people who do not have English as a first language are able to understand this story. Unfortunately, I write with a lot of slang and I purposely try to use slang and references from different generations throughout the story just to try and make it appeal to different age demographics. I just never imagined that it would go world-wide like it has. It's just really cool when I'm able to still get some of those points across even though there can be a huge language barrier for a lot of readers.
I'm also glad you appreciate the game improvements. I had no clue what I was doing when I started so I'm very much learning as I go. It's funny now that I wrote the damn thing and I can't even make it through the beginning because I think it's so bad now. It really needs fixed so I'll be going back to update the game based on what I learned so hopefully it'll look more consistent in the future.
I appreciate your mixed love and hate for the game and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Stay tuned, it's almost done.
Have to agree to AbelCain... you made the game in a very smart, decent and emotional way, so that we could connect to the characters easily. Remember and connect own experiences and actually feel something for Zack and Braden. So of course we will miss them, when the game is done. That's why I'm taking my time with the game very slowly, enjoying every scene, noticing every word and expression.. Maybe you'll be able to set up something in the future, which will make it easy to re-connect to that.. ;-)
I actually prefer if people take the game slower but I can't honestly tell if that's just the spoiled dev side of me that wants the amount of work put in to actually pay off and last. It's crazy how quickly people can blow through content that takes you months to do, but we see that in AAA studios, too, so it's not just an indie problem. Just don't go too slow or you'll more of the stuff that I still gotta fix :p
The depth of the psychology you've brought to the narrative is brilliant, you can tell it's your major. It helped to build the characters and draw us in on an amazing level.
I understand the mix of story vs 'porn'...although personally I don't view it as such, I see it as the intimacy you can read in most romance novels, it shows their inexperience and their connectivity with each other to explore such a nerve wracking human experience together...and be comfortable with each other with doing so. Amazing work!
I know many people have expressed how they too see themselves in Zack and Bradens journey...even Mikhail and Max's. But its true. People seem to forget that not so long ago being gay was a hidden thing...and in far too many places today is still seen as wrong, evil, and even illegal. So the internalised homophobia is something all too common. Some don't even face it, or are lucky to find people that can let us be who we truly are without shame or judgement.
But I'm going off on a tangent here. Just know, regardless of some others, your content is amazing. It has touched many people...and truly as others have said, this needs to be out there more.
Well done! Keep doing you.
You've got a fan base regardless of some other opinions.
Thanks a lot. I'm glad you appreciate the weird mix of things I did here. The sex stuff is meant, as you said it, to be more about exploration and intimacy than it is about porn. I think the adult genre can be more than what it is and has been and I've tried to hold myself to a higher standard with capturing that. In general, i don't like censorship and I try to not censor things with this story so we definitely have to include the adult stuff. Sometimes that's erotic and other times it's just funny or even tragic how bad they are, lol. But that's a lot of us. We're clumsy when we're in uncharted territory and that's what I wanted to capture with a coming of age tale here. However, in other scenes I've purposely censored some nudity and stuff because I didn't want people paying attention to physical stuff there-- I wanted them to focus on the character dialogue or the events or other things that just felt important to me.
The story is as deep as I, personally, needed it to be. As you stated with internalized homophobia. Much of that is things that I've grew up around and internalized myself and it comes out in these characters and I wanted them to confront that. I've publicly said that this story isn't a solution to that, it's just me capturing my own solution to that and I continue to be humbled by the amount of people that it's touched as well. It's nice to share something positive on the internet for a change and it's insane how many people this story and the community have affected. I'll never stop being thankful for that. I appreciate your kind words. I just did another Patreon post today with an update outline but I'm dropping the end of the story this month so stay tuned and I hope I do it justice. I've fretted over this ending long enough.
Please check the social media links or the links posted above on the game development. It can be pretty frustrating when I make the game for free and people like to point out that it's not being made quickly enough for them.
Your genuine question was riddled with sarcasm, whether you're going to admit that or not. The game IS FREE to play, and will always be FREE to play - Patreon subscriptions are there primarily to help fund a FREE to play game, and provide people with consistent progress updates and supplementary content - such as the Selfie sets.
If you were a £4 Patreon Supporter you should have been well aware with the current update progress, as there have been several posts in regards to it. We are very transparent with how each update progresses - whether that be on our public Twitter pages, Discord server or Patreon.
The amount of hours we put into this game is beyond the normal hours for a normal day job. The planning, writing, CG creation- it's all done with a very small team of 3 people, two of which have day jobs too. Game creation takes a lot of time, especially if you give a shit about the content you're making and want to release a quality product.
We thank you for your support up to this point, and hopefully you understand the process a little bit better and know where you can find updates on the game progression in future.
There's a lot to unpack here but asking you to be polite on a public forum is not a toxic trait. I'm truly sorry you've missed the point of this story and why I'm doing this despite my frequent posts as public comments here, Twitter, my Patreon, F95zone, and Discord. I'm unsure why you think there's no content when there's 30 Patreon posts between December 2, 2021, and today (June 28, 2022). Some of those are about the game and some are supplemental content. But this is itch, so I'm not sure why you're talking about Patreon content here when you could have messaged me on there. I'm pretty approachable.
The game is free. I post it for free. People donating money to the project is not the same thing as charging for it. Do I accept donations? Yes. Because making this requires supplies and has cost me thousands of dollars to make because I do it legally rather than pirate the assets. I'm fine with that. But if people want to chip in and help out with that, I'll reluctantly accept the money and I appreciate it beyond words. You can make your own decision on whether you think I'm genuine in that; I have no control over your assumptions. If you've read even one of my posts, I'm sure you could tell where my heart is. Many of my Patreon posts are public and free so anyone is able to see that and I would encourage you to go back and look at any of those if there is debate.
I appreciate "support" and that is not the same thing as money. Throwing money at something does not mean you support it. I don't want money and I certainly don't want money from sources that have made false judgements about me or have name called people on a public forum after self-identifying as "genuine" like you did to another user below.
Please respond with your Patreon user name and I will gladly refund you. Patreon billing only allows me to refund the past 3 months. If you've donated for more than that, I will refund what I'm able to and donate the rest to a charity and post a screenshot publicly because I'm not interested in keeping your donation when you harbor such ill feelings about my project.
The Trevor Project thanks you for your generous $50 USD donation. I matched your donation to my project with a little interest.
Also, for anyone else interested, I just realized that the Trevor Project is matching all donations this Pride month at 100%. If you would like to donate, it's one of my favs but it is US based to my knowledge. You can find out more here:
Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with organizations in the UK otherwise I would have directed the funds back in that direction. Regardless of your blocking, I hope you find happiness in this life.
I'm just popping in so I can't see the original question/comment. I'm a little confused as any information needed is readily available. If you are a patron as well, I don't see why you wouldn't message directly rather than try to create drama on a public forum. Furthermore, developing any game is expensive (AAA games are something around $80-100 million) and time consuming, but there has never been a requirement to pay. This team has put their heart and soul into this as a passion project, not something to make money off of.
The last piece I want to say (and I hate being this bitchy) is get over yourself. its £4 you were never even asked to pay and if you take your head out of your ass, you would see there are constant improvements being done and shown as well as other non-canon content to hold everyone over while the story is being written and perfected.
I hope that one day you can see just how much has been put into this and the countless people it has helped in so many different ways.
Yes, the OP appears to have been deleted. While I'm able to ban people or delete posts from the page, I normally do not do that (The exception being when someone deletes a post and I just purge it to clean up the page). However, in this case, my assumption is that the OP deleted the post because I did not. I don't like censoring comments just like I don't like censoring the game writing. I did however report two of the comments simply because they were attacking another user directly and there's just never any need for that. But enough about that, let me briefly and objectively summarize some reactions to some other points that you made regarding game development.
Yes. It's expensive. You mention AAA studios and the budgets. It's crazy how much this costs and how much time it takes. Regarding what the OP originally stated, there's an expectation that game updates for games such as mine will occur monthly. With Patreon, people pay on a monthly basis so if they're paying, they like to see something immediately for their money. I have two reactions to this:
1) People that pump out monthly updates normally release very small updates (usually 10 or 20 minutes of gameplay). In contrast, Straight releases much less frequently but the there's more content because I just like being able to sit longer and have time to actually dive back into the world. Releasing 10 minutes of this story, imo, wouldn't give us enough time to have emotional reactions to the situations so I spend time and drop an update that usually takes around 90 minutes or so to get through. Buuuut, it takes me like 6 months average to pump those out anymore. This story also comes from the heart so I have to feel this out. Because of the inconsistency and my own inexperience with doing this, I have always refused to charge for the project because I don't know when I'll get the updates out. I care about them so I want them to be good. If you wanna chip in money for the project, it's appreciated but never required. There's a million ways people can be supportive of this project without paying or donating.
2) While I disagree with the OP tone and profanity towards other people, I will objectively piggyback off one comment that he directed towards me: The indie dev community is actually pretty toxic and inconsistent. Games like this get abandoned constantly. In fact, I would argue that abandoned games are actually the norm--especially in this genre. Many devs are super money hungry and it's created a culture where followers have a right to be skeptical and mistrusting of them. Some have publicly admitted later that they put out a couple good game updates as bait and then abandoned the game but left Patreon turned on to autobill people for months or years. Another popular trope is that indie game devs in this genre will have some sort of mental health crisis that delays updates but ironically the billing stays turned on *eyeroll*. Honestly, it's terrible and something that I'm very conscious of. When you're honest with people, that's the last thing you want people to think. But I've also learned that some people have an extraordinary ability to jump to conclusions on the internet and I have no control over that. I have a good 5 years of posts on here, Patreon, f95zone, and Discord that I feel adequately illustrate where my heart is with this community and with the project. All of those posts are available publicly and I would encourage people to look at them if they've attached any conspiracy theories to me.
I started this project in 2017 and have consistently put out updates. The overwhelming feedback that I have received over the years is that each update was better than the previous one. I have a track record with the project and I have enough respect for the community and these characters to finish this. Throughout the process, as you stated, the art has improved and the quality of the writing has improved--unfortunately that translates into the project taking longer each time but people enjoy it and I honestly enjoy it. Ironically, it's usually the players donating that are telling me to take a day off; and while I appreciate that and it's reassuring-- it'll never be taken advantage of. The game will be finished and everyone will have access to it without the need to pay for it.
In short, do I mind if people ask when the next update is? Nope. I also understand that a lot of people don't follow other sources of social media and things like that. People are always welcome to ask (just don't spam me because then I spend half my day answering the same question). However, over the years about 3 people have gotten an attitude about the game updates and they want them now and for free and there's zero respect there at all. Just be nice when you're on the internet and remember that there's other people on the end of the screen. People have been very supportive of this project and I've only gotten hate from like 3 people over the years but I definitely see entitlement with other projects and I will get defensive if I see that attitude creeping near this one.
Yours is the first game of this type I ever played, so I pay special attention. I've tried to read every post and see the journey to create what you have. I am easily the type that gets frustrated when I binge all the available content of something I like. the difference is that you guys communicate everything. as ive started supporting more games and content creators I have started to see the "mental health excuse."
I have not seen you do this. there is a fairly consistent stream of information or content so I was dumb struck seeing someone get upset especially on a public forum.
On the main subject of indie games being abandoned as being the norm...why does that matter? this is not every indie game, and you are not every developer. haven't we learned not to stereotype or generalize? haha
I will say I am so glad that that you've only had 3 people over the years give you hate. and again im sorry for getting a little inappropriate in my comment. I just tend to become very overprotective.
Reported this troll...don't let him get to you, you've been working your ass off on this story for years and clearly he doesn't understand how to appreciate the amazing story you've put together and the amount of time invested...or that its available for free for those who choose to read the itch and patreon pages -.-.
LOL. dick head. report me to whoever you want. Kiss my arse.why not report the dev to patreon for taking £10k with nothing in return. Keep feeding him cash you suckers
Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah, I feel like I'm pretty open. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to do things cause I'm learning as I go. I'm a psych major, not a game developer. I sorta just fell into this and people responded to it and it's something I want to finish <3
No worries. I do. I literally have thousands of letters over the years and like 3 people that have yelled at me. That's pretty good. Most of the people that go off about things on the internet are usually unhappy about more than just the thing they're complaining about. I hope those kinds of people find happiness some day. Being angry at everyone is no way to live.
initially found a video of your game on a more sexually focused platform. I watched it out of curiousity and it tollay blew me up! I had almost that same kind of story with my first boyfriend at High School when I was just 16.. he and me met almost the same way. In the same innocent, but almost "straight" manner starting in 1990. All the dialogues not only could have happened but actually did happen nearly the same way. Even in the face expressions of the guys in the game, I found my own former reality reflected. Really astonishing work! I had the fortune to have continued this journey of basically two more or less straight young men falling for each other till I was 26, so almost 10 years. Then he decided that he wanted to have some sexual experience with women too and he left. It almost broke me. Even as a bi-sexual and able to understand his wish, I loved him for ten years from day 1-to the last with the same intensity.. and after he left, I knew, that this was most probably not going to happen another time in my life. I missed him much the following years. We shared time in a very special moment of yourself starting to get an adult and having many experiences together for the first time in life. Today I'm even more appreciating this precious gift, life has given to me. Your sensitive and decent story telling and the buildup of the real characters was a masterpiece. I really feel connected to Braden and Zack. Almost as being together with them and experiencing and exploring things day by day. You have put everything in the right place. It was like a timemaschine for me and at the same time it was some kind of comfort for own experiences seeing so completely shared by another man experiencing the same. Thank you for that! I would wish and could imagine, that you are not already completely through your own inner story and memories, so you might consider a second part of this (?) Maybe again with Zack and Braden or maybe in a different way based on your experiences and inner sights you have gained through all this. Thank you bro for giving this touching emotional journey to us!
I always appreciate these stories. It's just crazy that I keep hearing from from multiple demographics and time periods, and places around the world. I appreciate your message and thank you for sharing your own story. I'm glad I could take you back one more time <3
Thanks for your kind reply. I'm taking my time and going along with the story very slowly. Had to smile when it has come up to the first massage scene, with Zack sitting on Bradens back. So funny.. cause with massage my friend got me in these times. I was 16 and felt completely straight. He was 15 and had to persuade me to let it happen. When he had finished.. I was emotionally completely confused for the following days. And from there on, we started to do it again, sometimes many times a week..till we passed the line, that is determined to be passed that way.. ;-)
I tried to make a realistic progression. A lot of people just try and play games like this for the adult content so I sorta eased some of that in but only for the sake of story building. I wanted it to feel organic and realistic the way a relationship could. It was kinda fun to take a lot of those natural situations that seem become porn cliches and make them actually have some substance to them. It's a long story so you got a long way to go and honestly i think the beginning is the worst part. I promise I get better
Unfortunately, there are no trans or femboy characters in the game. I've done a post that I'll link here as well as this post on why the letters of "straight" are in red here. Both posts are sorta related to your question. But to quickly summarize, I was mostly focusing and using characters with things that I needed to personally work through or things that, in my particular cultural area, were things that were difficult for me to accept about sexuality. I'm very straight acting and I'm ok with that. I wanted to depict a world in which that could still exist because it's something I'm very comfortable with but without it being assumed it was toxic masculinity. In this vein, femboy characters were sorta avoided because it didn't fit the particular narrative that I was personally trying to work through as well as me feeling that since I'm uber straight acting, that I wouldn't be able to write a femboy character with any type of justice. I've never written anything before so I tried to stick with what was familiar to me personally. Which leads to the trans character question which sorta has the same answer. It's not something that I personally had any experience with. This game focuses A LOT on the mind of a very straight acting gay character. There's a lot of psych and a lot of internal processing in the narrative and I simply just wasn't able to do that with a trans character because it's not something that I've experienced. I'm sure there's plenty of trans authors/writers/coders/artists-- just creators in general-- that could do that role with a lot more justice and introspection that I ever could have so I'd rather they did that and I'll gladly shine a spotlight in their direction. I'll stick to my bro dramas for now until I figure out how to objectively write better. Hopefully, that made sense, if not, then hit me up or check out those posts for more depth on what I was personally trying to accomplish with this project.
I finished it up to the cliff-hanger "to be concluded." I am definitely looking forward to the reworkings of the initial chapters, including the enhanced graphics, added music and revised writing that I saw mentioned in an update. The current state of the story is... wow, damn good. I cannot accurately describe how amazing this story is. I think the greatest aspect of this game is the writing, and to me it was an excellent, introspective work. I also really liked the art and character designs even though they're (I guess) still in a rough draft form. So with the game, while playing, I actually started questioning my own self and my life choices leading up to now. Even though the story revolved around two young male characters' issues related to sexuality and authenticity, I still could relate as a mid-20s/trans-F. For instance, Zack's internalized homophobia and him hiding his true self for so long, as well as Braden's confusion on his own identity and his issue with dealing with the public's perception of him, resonated with me as someone who is beginning to question my own identity as possibly "non-binary" and who has had internalized transphobia in the past. I really liked the inclusion of Mikhail and Max (Ash), they were incredible characters who offered unique perspectives to the two main cast. Team Ash. The gradual build-up of the plot was done very well, and I felt like the sensual scenes near the end were normalized.
So yeah! Those are a couple of my thoughts on the story, and I am just obsessed. It was so good and I will stay tuned for new updates. Rooting for you guys because I think this game needs way more recognition. What were some game/media inspirations? This game gives me Life is Strange vibes, but with more mature content.
P.S. I listened to lo-fi hip-hop while playing and it.. oddly fit the vibe. Haha.
So on the rework, the models would stay the same but I'm sure you've noticed that the beginning of the game is poorly lit and just looks crappy. The idea is to make the beginning look graphically like the ending does. The game is just me progressively getting better I think.
I'm also glad that you were able to relate to parts of the game even though (and I just made a few comments like this in the post above) that it was sorta designed as a bro game. I wrote what I was comfortable with but a lot of existential thought and self discovery is very personal revelations but the focus or method of accepting those can be a bit more general. I'm glad it holds up to someone who has a very different orientation than I do and that it just seemed "normalized" to you.
I appreciate the desire for the game to get more recognition. I'm pretty lowkey and don't market very well. It's also my first project and I've gotten way more out of this than I ever imagined that I would so I don't need all the attention. I'm certainly thankful for what I've gotten and continue to get. But i do hope that it finds it's way into the hands and hearts of people that could find meaning from it.
I find it cool how you channeled your own experiences into the game, it makes it more meaningful and intimate. And yeah, I think the writing in the game, in comparison to other male-on-male romance novels out there that I know of, is so much more personal that the reader can actually empathize with the characters. That's a great thing. It's almost like Zack and Braden actually exist in maybe an alternate universe, haha.
On a side note, is the Discord server accepting new members?
Oh for sure, the Discord is free and always open to people. The only real limitation is that it's 18+ like the game is and we try and keep drama to a minimum. We try to be a pretty chill community that's pretty accepting of people. Pop in if you wanna say hey. I usually try and greet everyone but sometimes I got windows up working on stuff so I miss them. If you join, say hey and tag me if I miss you. We regularly interact with people.
um... so they all state or imply ages at some point during the story but since we're coming to the end of a semester or year, you could imply an extra year if you wanted. But canonically Braden is 18, Zack is 19, Mikhail is 19 and you could assume that Ash is probably 19 or maybe 20... him and Mikhail are pretty close in my head tho. Although Cody is pretty popular with the fanboys, I've never actually given him an age in game.
Well, well, well... your team definitely did a good job of reeling the reader in and pulling on their heartstrings. **SPOILER** I have to vaguely mention the "cheating" scene because my heart was so crushed; it's the only reason why I made this account to rage, however, you got me so f-ing good!🤣😭 In all seriousness though, the story immersion is impeccable you undeniably have a talent for story telling! Please continue :)
heh, sorry about the bouncing emotions on that scene. It was designed that way on purpose but not only for the fake out. A lot of the game confronts things--either things that I personally struggled with or things that I feel hold a lot of people back from positive experiences in relationships. That scene in particular was supposed to confront how quickly people make assumptions about the behaviors of others just because media has sorta groomed us to think that way. Early Mikhail scenes were the same way. Glad I got ya tho. I think it's hard to write those fake out scenes and actually make them pack the punch you want, ya know? Thanks for the support though and thank you for making an account just to rage at me :p
played this game over the span of a few days, about a week ago? wasnt going to write a comment or review, because i never do on this website.
but i just CANNOT stop thinking about this game. i am so connected to this game, the characters and the storyline just mean so much to me. as someone who has struggled with my identity (sexual, romantic, and gender) seeing a representation of queer romance where its not overly sexualized but still clearly a relationship between two adults is just so heartwarming. i played the romantic route and it just made me so unbelievably happy.
when they were sad i was sad, when they were happy i was happy, and when they got fluffy and romantic i couldnt help but get excited.
thank you for such an amazing game, im so excited to see more! <3
This is honestly a reaction that I never get tired of: the people who make accounts just because they can't stop thinking about the game. I'm glad to have moved you in such a way because the journey has moved me as well. Thank you for walking with us :)
havent played this game in awhile and...i finally played and i loved every part of it. its sad seeing this split but all good things end eventually, hopefully they will reunite but for now it is what it is. im looking forward to the rest,
@aaryn.reese - Over 50 years ago I lived this very wonderfully presented story for two and a half years. Yes, some differences, actually many differences, but the core plot gay young man and 'Straight!?' young man for just one very special person hit me to the very center of my soul. I made one massive mistake, I followed a career instead of my heart and lost that very special person as a soul mate. We've remained friends but I sorely regret that mistake. Thank you for reminding me that the core of ones existence is how one commits to the ones we love.
I'm glad the game brought back some old memories and I'm also glad that some things are timeless--that someone who experienced a story similar to this 50 years ago, can still relate to something written too. I really tried to write this in somewhat of a generic fashion, weaving in slang from multiple time periods and trying to give a lot of different age groups something to ground them to their generation. Glad to hear it held up with you. Thanks a lot <3
I don't have a clue as too wether or not you'll believe this, but since I wrote my original post to you, I've made connection with the party that your game brought back so many memories of. He's in troubled times once again, lost his job due to Covid. Strange how life ebbs and flows. Thanks very much.
Doesn't have to make sense. Sometimes it's just the way of things. I wish you luck on your journey and hope both you and him find peace with whatever direction it may go <3
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Thank you so much for this game. I just got to the chapter "Deeper" and I had to stop because I was so close to crying. This game is absolutely beautiful and it spoke to me in a way nothing has before. I'm currently on a work trip and am very, very, very lonely and my mind turned to what it always does: how lonely and isolated I feel. I never understood why I knew I was gay and yet couldn't actually be gay. I've never kissed, never done anything.
Then Zack explained it. I hate it and I wish I could just be... fuck, normal isn't the word because your story made it clear "normal" isn't worth jack shit. But I grew up in a religious household, my father walked out when I came out and spent the next week drinking. I wish I was something else sometimes, but I could never put that into words.
Being gay is so hard sometimes... it's easy to feel alone when you don't feel like anyone understands you. But Zack does. I'm getting teary just writing this, so I'll keep this part short, but I've never felt to seen. I don't care about the pride movement or what the world says I should be as a gay man, but I'm not traditional. I don't care about my clothes or anything I'm told gay men like.
I just exist and it's so liberating for a gay character to finally show that. I'll be honest- I downloaded this game looking for something far different from what I got and honestly I'm very happy you did me this service. I know you don't know me, but I'm sitting in an empty hotel room right now breaking down because for the first time in my life I get to see myself... and I don't know how to process it.
Your story has changed my life, seriously. Something inside my brain feels different now, like some portion of me that I was trying to change or suppress has come out of the shadows. I know I'm not Zack- I'm not naturally talented or calm and relaxed (at least, I'm not capable of putting up that kind of façade). But I see now I've allowed others to dictate just who I am- that I'm too loud or annoying. I even constantly put myself down. I'm not going to anymore. I'm going to try to be the person I can be proud of, because if I can't do that then what's even the fucking point? I don't need a fairytale kiss, but I'll be damned if I let myself die without showing myself who I am. Fuck the world and their opinions on who I am, from here on out I will try my hardest to be myself.
I kinda got off track there at the end... but thank you. For everything. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
I wish you the best with this. for me it was a journey. well, it still is and I'm ok with that. I figure if I act like the ride is over, then I really can't grow any more after that. You're very much into the part of the game where I started going off the rails and doing my own thing. I moved away from the old genre of VNs and just had an experience that really meant a lot to me and it was fun playing that out with the characters. I'm glad that Zack is able to validate some of your feelings and allow you to feel like you're part of something besides yourself. He helped me do the same and I'm eternally grateful. To me, the meaning of life isn't a hard question to answer, the answer is to find meaning in life. Like you said, otherwise, what's the point just existing? but also take that process at your own pace. work things out and be open to it making sense in your own way. dont rush into it. self improvement and development should be calculated. I hope you enjoy the last 2 chapters <3
I'm still kinda putting it off, to be honest. It's phenomenal but I sincerely don't want to finish. I almost feel like I'm disrespecting the story if I finish it, although why I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm just experiencing some painstaking growth and I'm not really used to it. I think about this story daily and how I can become a better person from it, which feels odd to me but also really great? I know you've probably got more important things going on, but thank you again. I'm going to try to be a better me for a while and see what it feels like. I owe it all to you. Thank you again and I look forward to see what comes next for you!
if you're too busy living your life to play my game, that's good enough for me. I smiled when I read this and please dont feel compelled to finish it. You dont have to. and that comes from me that wrote it. You're self reflections and revelations will do more for you personally than I ever can. when you're ready for my ending, it's here and it's free.... if you never need it, please accept that's ok too. may you find your version of happiness in this world <3
hey
i just wanted to say thanks for creating this game, it helped me back in february where i wasnt feeling very well mentally and had to skip school until may bc of that but your game really went along with me through those months and i cannot explain how thankful i am tysm for making this oml and the characters and i cried so many times bc of how relatable they were omg. ngl im gonna replay it again now haha :D
ty <3
wow, this really means a lot and I'm really glad you shared this. I'm glad you made it through those months and I'm thankful that my little project somehow had a role in that. i hope you continue to improve and take care of yourself. I think one thing that all these characters have in common is that they're good people and if you could relate to them then that probably means you're a good person too. keep your head up and keep moving forward 'cause even during the worst parts... well... nothing lasts forever. thanks for sharing this <3
Hey,
I just want to say....I fucking hate this....cause I love it so much. I am a huge emotional wreck at the moment but definitely a story that is needed to be told. Can't recall how many times I have cried while reading this every time it updates. How each and every character I related to so much, since I have had similar experiences. This story and where I am at in life honestly is fucking resonating and I appreciate how it fucked me up emotionally.
Thank you =]
haha. thank you for sharing your awful experience with my game :p
I'm kidding but nah, thanks. It's so weird that when i stripped off who i am and wrote something for the first time, i wrote a damn emotional romance story. Though, i'm sorry it fucked you up emotionally, I hope that turns into a healing process and not just a nuke that blew everything up. Obviously, i've been there, too, i wrote the damn thing and i wrote it in real time as i walked through it. I'm glad the story has meant something to you throughout all the updates and I hope you find a way to allow yourself peace and a happy ending that makes you cry for all the reasons you ever wanted <3
Heya,
I'm a great fan of this game and I absolutely love the story (although I haven't played it 'till the end yet). Recently I read that you wanna add a soundtrack. Actually I have some experience with composing, mixing and mastering. So, if you want me to, I would love to compose some tracks for this.
heya. thanks for the interest. Yep, I'm working on music and sounds now for the remake. It's taken a bit of time to get started mostly because i'm navigating websites and copyright stuff but I'm anticipating that it'll speed up in the future. The first demo should have enhanced pictures that are lightyears ahead of what the original looked like as well as music and sound effects.
I think for someone like you that is interested in composing, I would probably be a pretty frustrating person to deal with, lol. This was a passion project from the start so I'm pretty attached to it-- which makes me stubborn and opinionated sometimes. However, when it comes to music, I can't really articulate what I want exactly. So I want something but don't know what I want, but I'm stubborn anyway, lmao. I just know when I find something and it feels right, then I squeal and point at it. So it's a weird thing for others to deal with when I'm not sure what I even want.
But I also wrote this story in real time and only planned a few parts of it in advance, so picking the music out one track at a time as I get to each point in the story is very on brand for me. However, that's probably awful for composers to deal with. One of my dev team guys is good with sound and has a good setup so he's putting up with me right now. I'm also looking at royalty free sites to make things legal. I seriously appreciate the interest. I've had a few people over the years interested in composing stuff but it's hard to help me out when I'm the only person that can hear it in my head and I have no idea how to describe it. It's mostly just inexperience on my part. If you have stuff you wanna pitch or send over, I'm very open to listening to it. I just don't want you to personalize it if I don't roll with it. I may actually publicly post the main menu before long and that has one track on it
Alright, I understand your point :)
That's actually more relaxed for me, since that way there's no pressure on me to finish a whole soundtrack.
How can I send a track to you, in the case that I have an idea?
If you have Discord, you can DM me directly on there. It goes to my desktop and my phone.
https://discord.com/invite/qAG3qek
Thank you
This game hit me in a way I've never experienced before. By the end I was an emotional wreck. Thank you so much for making this experience!
thank you. I'm glad you appreciated the rollercoaster. It's been an experience for me as well <3
I love this game, the story is so good and, I felt so comfortable with the characters and everything. this is definitely one of my favorite games rn!
aww. thank you. glad you liked it <3
I found this game and downloaded it on a whim. I had low expectations, preparing myself for a visual feast and "typical" gay storyline. Admittedly, the spelling and grammar need an editor (I'd be happy to help in that capacity), but I was quickly drawn into the story despite my cavalier attitude toward the content.
I'm not a gay man, though I am someone who holds all humans to be valuable in and of themselves, in addition to the experience and perspective each can provide. I have a background in several scientific fields, and have always tried to approach life based on evidence and my own core rule: minimize harm and maximize well-being.
I was not prepared for the depth of the story or the development of the characters presented. I reached the end of the present release and spent an hour crying, unwillingly thrust into my own past and all my moments with friends, lovers, and family.
Thank you for that. I'll be sharing this project with others who may need reminders of important lessons.
heya, I really appreciated the candid nature of this post. It made me laugh at first because I can relate to it. A lot of gay stories seem cliché or, in the adult realm, are just shallow and horny. Straight!? doesn't do anything crazy different other than trying to provide substance to the genre it's told in. It's a coming of age story and we've all read or heard tons of those. But, I did put a lot of passion into it and I'm pleased that people are able to actually feel that. I'm not sure your scientific background, I'm a psych guy and I think my story holds water within the psych field, regardless of theoretical orientation and I'm pleased to hear that you feel it holds weight in your eyes.
I have a handful of favorite responses from people and you nailed a few of them here. I like people starting this with low expectations and then being surprised. That's always fun to hear for a first time writer here. I also love when it holds up to people who aren't gay. I wanted to try and create a universal story here that was mostly applicable to those who have struggled with their sexuality, but I also wanted people who didn't, to find something from it-- even if it was just appreciating what you have and respecting your own journey of being in this world.
In terms of the writing, I do have a guy who helps me with editing. However (and this is a massive HOWEVER that I'm emphasizing here to defend him), most of the writing flaws and editing problems are probably still in there because I'm stubborn. I didn't write this story in an organized fashion, honestly I think I bled it over 5 years. The writing tone is inconsistent and there's massive run on sentences, that to me, read like a poetic rant that captures my voice and intentions at the time. When i'm frustrated about something I talk a lot and I know my speech throws punctuation out the window. That's real to me so i wanted to capture that within the story because of it's honesty. Time in the story is also kinda wonky because I've never written anything before. I didn't know how to structure that. Perhaps in a future project, I'll be more careful and outline things better. But this, in many spots, i left very raw. It's kinda like a journal that was turned into a fictional story. It's not perfectly structured or written and I was kindof protective in keeping it that way. That being said, the first 3 chapters are written very poorly and i can't stand them, lol. Those need some work and that's my next mission. But I know I broke a lot of literary rules in other parts of the story and much of that was intentional despite my co-writer suggesting otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
Also, thanks for sharing the story. I really appreciate that; especially if it's going to help someone or remind them of something important. I appreciated your post and thank you for taking the time to write it :)
IM STILL NOT READY TO FINISH ITTT
you got this. Plus we got a whole community for support when you get to the end. They’ve come in handy several times now
I'm totally in love with Mikhail, I urgently need an option to choose to stay with him, it would be too good! lol
aww. i'm a big fan of mikhail too. There's really only one romance route in this game though. it's my first game and rather than allow things to get spread out everywhere, i wanted to narrow my focus and do one really good route
Finished the 'game' way too fast but enjoyed every bit of it. I'm also a total sucker for happy endings! All good. Only observation: the dialogue covers a great deal of your art... did you ever consider balloons for the text, instead?
heya. glad you liked it. so you can hit H to hide the dialogue screen if you wanna see more of the pictures. In terms of the bubbles, it was something i thought about but i'm not really sure how to do that other than make a new overlay image for every single line of dialogue (which is around 50,000 so the amount of work to do that would probably take me 6 months just to do the dialogue bubbles so i kinda talked myself out of it
You're asking the wrong guy... I know zilch about the technical aspects involved for such an update. But in my uneducated opinion, I would assume that copy/paste and farming out the grunt work to eager volunteers could expedite the process? Having the dialogue at the bottom with the - sometimes - hard to read name of who's talking was somewhat of a distraction, at least for me. It also caused me to 'race' through the first two chapters. (As you accurately pointed out in one of your remarks...) Since that seems to be a commonality among the ranks of your fans, t h a t may be the cause? On the other hand, text balloons would require a work-around to process name changes (Mom-Fucker/Max/Ash, for example) but there's a solution for that. I did become attached to the characters and by chapter 3 actually started to give a shit what would happen to them. And I'm not sure what your plans are but you could keep this thing going for a long time. Heartstopper (Netflix) apparently is shifting focus away from the first season two main characters and that could be a distinct possibility for Straight!? - Book 2? Let the boys live in some summer break bliss as supporting cast and spin a tale around the other characters your fans really like? I'll shut up now. Thanks for the fast reply! Hank
yeah, the beginning is rough and i'm not happy with it. it very much started out like the typical cliche adult game and that type of story, once i got going on it, was just too shallow and simple for me. i wanted to do a lot more with it so i started to take some chances and people will followed me on it and I'm grateful for that. i'd like to go back and keep that same vibe going throughout the whole time. now there are some ui changes in the newest update with the text box and i'll also be looking at the font a bit. that being said, there still may be issues. I'll be honest when i admit that i dont think about the textbox when i do the images. i just do the shot that my heart tells me to and that's it.
in terms of season 2's and stuff. I've thought about those types of approaches with other characters. we'll see. i'm staying open with it. what i'm not gonna do is just try and run the story into the ground to milk subscriptions from people. I'm not doing something else unless i think it really matters and hopefully people are receptive to that. i refuse to half-ass projects or just do fan-service stuff just to make a buck, ya know? story all the way here
(Your time spent writing candid replies to others and myself is commendable!)
All of the writing I have done my entire life has been freelance and voluntary. Despite being praised straight into heaven at times, I never went as serious as you have even though there is a lot out there. But this I know; your 'problem' as a talented artist is that just like Rembrandt and van Gogh, you do not consider the frame your product ends up in or how it will be attached for display. Starry Night in a butt-ugly frame looks horrendous because that diverts the attention away from where Vincent intended it to be. Presentation needs to avoid distraction at all cost.
Your issue is twofold because it is a combination of beautiful imagery and a written story. As it is now, the crescendo of emotions coupled with the teasing and sexual tension is amazing. Your intent to follow your heart rather than a fast buck is valid but I suspect that the expectations of your followers echo your desire to not let this thing end and die yet.
As you say yourself, the difference between the initial chapters and the rest is obvious. And in the end and as with almost every other accomplished artist; whatever you come up with and create from the soul, we will all love.
hankguichelaar57@gmail.com
i appreciate the take and the advice and the kind words :). i'm very much still in a learning phase with all of this. hopefully, I always will be. i have no desire to become an expert or any cockiness that may come with that. we'll see where my heart takes me on things. bad sequels can ruin things for some people-- they do for me-- and that's just not worth it, even if i made some cash off it. after spending the last 5 years with these characters, i refuse to exploit them. we'll see :)
oh, and yeah, i try and answer every post. i'm sure a couple have slipped by because the notifications aren't the best. I think i've only ignored one post purposely and that was just someone trying to bait me and I was over that. Other than that, I do try and seriously read and reply to everything i see. people like that and I appreciate the involvement
I f loved the story. The characters where so human and everything was real and relatable for as querr people. Thank you so much. Hope you get more ad more famous and get tons of money for this work of art. I'm also an artist currently learning so I can also turn digital. My dream is work with 3D stuff and video games. Thank you for your inspiration. I wish the best to you an everyone important in your life. May y'all live a long, healthy and happy love. 😊
haha. I appreciate the love. Hopefully, I dont get too famous, though, I still like keeping things kinda small and personal around here and I don't wanna get too big where I can't do that. It's a major fear of mine but this thing is already much bigger than I ever anticipated. I'm honored to have this thing be a creative inspiration to you and I wish you all the success on your own project(s). If you ever wanna send a link over, lemme know. It's kinda cool to see what comes out of the inspiration from this thing. So thank you for dropping me a line and I'm really glad you enjoyed it but more importantly I wish you shared health and love as well <3
Thank you 😊😊
I just wanted to say thank you. The story was amazing. The characters were so well written that I became attached to every single one (more Ash content please!). This whole game was so well done. I really hope you continue to develop more content. I'm a new fan!
aww. Thanks a lot and thanks for being a new fan. Ash was a break out star. It’s crazy how popular his crazy ass got. Glad you liked it <3
The android version has an error
that’s an old save error. Old saves will crash the game. Go back to the main menu and click new game then update and you should be good after that. You’ll just have to start the update over again
ok thank u
yep. np. on PC you can hold CTRL down to fast forward but I'm not sure if there's an equivalent on Android or not. Definitely go back and replay though because you probably missed stuff if you loaded an old save. I try to warn people during the boot up with that warning screen but a lot of people miss it.
I really LOVED this game! So sad that it’s over💔
awww. glad you liked it tho. i'd rather end something on my terms for the purpose i set out on than run it into the ground forever, ya know? I miss em already, too, though...
hi aaryn I just wanted to say loved the game and Im sad to see it end really hope in future I really hope you make another game that continues Zach and Braden’s story and maybe we will see them succeed in the sex part 🤣🤣🤣
hi! thanks for the love. I’m probably not going away any time soon if people want more from me. I’m gonna put a thick coat of polish on this game first then and I may survey the landscape and see what direction I’m going next 😊
yea I hope we get to see more of zack and Braden in the future maybe were you just left off with Zack going to Braden’s house
I plans right now. I told the story I wanted to but there will still be some updates for the early parts of the game and it’ll look much better
Hi,
I created this account just to congratulate you on your game. I never write review but this time I simply had too. This is not an average VN, you crafted a beautiful story with loads of depth that really involve us emotionally. I wanted to thank you for the experience.
I stayed up late yesterday just to finish it and have to admit that I cried a bit at the end reflecting on my own life and journey. I feel like I had my Braden in my life, sadly didn't had the ending I wished for nor even closure. Life is not always perfect but it is the uncontrollability of the others surrounding us that makes everything unique. It is very rare to find material that makes you relate to it, makes you question and wonder about your own action. I loved the evolution of the characters, theirs questioning and mindset.
You are a great storyteller, I will look forward for any project of yours if you one day you decide to make more but this is quite a masterpiece in it's own genre. Thank you so much for this game, the time and effort that you put into it to embark us in a journey and also thank you for making it available here for free. You really didn't had to and your art is truly worth financing, those times are tough and it is nice to be able to access such quality content even though I am not in the best financial situation at the moment.
I hope this project will have a great reach and that people can hop on this engaging story. Thank you for everything, I wish you success in your life and projects. I hope you have more adventure to share, you are truly gifted.
I seriously appreciate the account creation just to leave a comment. That means a lot so thank you. I'm glad the story hit you although I'm sorry about the tears, but I do like that you were able to relate it to yourself and get something personal out of it. That's really one of the major reasons i even worked on it publicly in the first place--otherwise this would have just been a personal thing that sat on my computer somewhere just for me.
I appreciate the kind words about the storytelling. I think I definitely got better as the game progressed and I've appreciated all the help and feedback I've gotten over the years. In terms of the game being free... yeah... I never had a desire to charge for it because I'm not professional. The updates are inconsistent sometimes despite me trying really hard so I never wanted to charge people for the inconsistency or my own inexperience. Plus, if the story was helpful to people, I didn't want the financial stuff to stand in their way. People have been kind to help me finance and they've been patient as I've learned the ropes over the years and I'm grateful for that. The least I can do is pay it forward and continue to make the project free. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I appreciate the time you took to drop me a line <3
oh my god.
the way im feeling after this cant even be put into words.
ive played this before (and commented before) but with the final main update i did a full replay (which... took like three days.)
and it was just. amazing. such an experience. i laughed and i cried and there were moments where i just shook with nerves at what might happen next -- i got unusually invested in this story, to say the least. but it completely shook me. this game, this story, this experience was just a work of art. i cant help but find myself wishing for more, to know how their story goes. but, you know what they say...
nothing lasts forever.
so i just wanted to thank you once again for making this. ive seen how much it affected people, but ive felt how much it affected me. this game stuck with me since the first time i played, and i think it will continue to for a long time. zack was right -- "too many gay stories have sad endings" -- and im glad this one didnt. it gives me hope. it gave me courage to be unapologetically myself, because if people dont love me for who i am then they dont belong in my life either. and it brought me comfort, in things that ive struggled with for a long time.
this was beautiful. thank you for making it, and i hope to see more from you in the future. but even if i dont, i hope this game brought you happiness, just like it did for me and so many others. i think ill find myself returning to this game for a long time.
lol. this game got sooo freaking long, lol. I dont blame you for taking 3 days to go through it. I have new players pop into our Discord and claim they went through it in one sitting and i'm like wtf! lol. It takes me several days to get through a full read (which I think I've only done like 4 times).
I'm glad you went through the rollercoaster of emotions during the story. I think those are fun to experience. I know I experience them when I write it so it's always amazing to hear that it pays off and someone else rides right along with you.
This project has brought me happiness. It's been cathartic and the number of people that's it's impacted is staggering. I seem to get more letters by the day and that's ... well... it's honestly beyond anything that I can describe. It just feels good and I'm grateful for that.
I'm working on fixing the beginning now so I promise it'll only get better. This was just the rough draft *wink
omg i cant say much more then what was already said . wow wow and wow. like in still crying this is by far the best storie/game what ever you like to call it i have every read. as a gay man in my 50's sad to said i am zack i it made me open my eyes to alot.. i know this was the end but like alot of others i wish there was more to come..... great work aaryn and to everyone that work on this.... hugs to you all
**SPOILERS AHEAD**
I don’t know what to say. I’ll start by saying, as I’ve said many times before, thank you. Just.. thank you. For everything. This story has meant so much to me, on so many different levels. I feel like I know both characters intimately.. i see parts of both of them in myself. To see my own flaws and neuroses worked through throughout the story, and so eloquently, has been humbling. I only finished the update a couple of minutes ago and I’m still a little bit tearful tbh haha. Partly because the end was so touching, both the words and the visuals.. the fade, the snapshots of past scenes, the change from original to new during the embrace. But also partly because of this sense of loss. I’ve only been part of this for about a year, but It’s weird how much this all came to mean to me. I’m 27 but never got my moment, my chance, my train station, my Braden, and this isn’t my story but I lived through it. I don’t have too much in life, and I’m not a well bloke, so I’m glad I managed to see how this ended.
Well, time to start going through depression, anger, bargaining, denial and acceptance haha! Seriously though, sincerely, thank you for.. for giving me the chance to feel something, if only fleetingly. And thank you for putting so much time and effort into it. I hope I manage to get to see what you do in the future! <3
my bad feel like that’s just emotional rambling haha
heh, well I will begin by first apologizing for all the stages of grief you're heading into but know that I, too, have forded them since the update. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm always humbled when people have an emotional reaction to the story. Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked the ending. I was worried about it for a few reasons that mostly centered around how to try and capture the cinematic moments that I saw in my head. But more importantly, I hope you find your train station someday. And no worries on the emotions; I wrote the damn thing and it took me a few weeks to sort through my own.
im not surprised.. I think a lot of us are dealing with the grief! I’m not sure what the cinematic moments look like in your head obviously, but to me at least they were perfect. Poignant and enough.
Thank you for your hope, but I don’t believe I’ve got enough time left to find my train station irl, but I felt like I got to live it briefly through your story, through Zack. For giving me that you have no idea how thankful I am. I wish you nothing but the very best, thanks again. <3
Well, I appreciate you living vicariously through the characters. Even if it was fictional. I hope it was still an experience for you and I appreciate the opportunity to share that. I'll think positively for you, though, and I truly wish you all the best as well <3
[Spoilers Ahead]
Wow. Wow. Wow.
That was an incredible journey, but not just for Zack and Braden. It's crystal clear that you have evolved immensely as a creator, writer and artist during this project too.
The quality of the finale showcases just how much effort and thought you put into the final product. It's leaps and bounds ahead of the previous chapters, and certain moments were positively cinematic (train station lights out scene, especially with the stunning fade-in of past-Braden into present-Braden).
Since you're going to go back and remaster the earlier chapters, I can only applaud you in your efforts. I know many people would move on to another project, but your desire to bring this project that bit closer to perfection is what will most certainly set you apart and above as an artist.
From the get-go, when you said in your introduction that this would be a slow burn, I had the feeling that this project would be a labor of love, not your run of the mill VN on itch.io. Now that the story has concluded for now, I think it's fair to say that this was certainly no common VN. It was special. It was unforgettable. The story you have written and the characters you have brought to life will live in my mind alongside some of my favorite stories and characters.
Thank you.
This is a more than well-deserved 5 stars.
Heh, thanks for noticing the progress. It's labor of love for sure. Unfortunately, some of that love slowed me down sometimes but I hope that paid off in the final product. I'm still learning. I do plan to go back through and do a revamp. I'm working on it as I type now, actually. It'll be a massive image quality enhancement to the beginning part of the game as well as tighten up the writing. I got better and I think the beginning deserves that. I don't want to spend forever on it but I want to finish it and do it justice. I appreciate your comments and I'm humbled by the kind words. Thank you <3
My spoiler-free comment:
Holy f*ckin' sh*t. That was worth the wait.
I hope everyone that is as touched as I was comes here to thank you for telling this story.
Moreover I hope that you inspire others to tell theirs.
I'm writing about mine now.
Thanks to you.
haha, well thank you very much. I seriously appreciate it. I'm pretty proud of the ending and I'm glad people saw it for the things I intended. Thank you for taking this project seriously. It's insane how long this stuff takes when you really friggen care about the product. I'm glad you thought it was worth the wait. I really tried.
Also, I'm humbled that this helped motivate your own stuff, look me up and share it sometime. I'd be interested <3
Sorry, I forgot I'd posted this here so I wasn't looking for a reply. Didn't mean to come across as ghosting.
My own story is less about self-acceptance and more about surviving with a closeted side in the US Navy in the 1980s. I was just going to write something up in Word but renpy really lets you tell the story in a satisfying way. Don't know if I'll ever share it publicly, at least in the raw form with everyone's real names.
Unfortunately I'm getting some error where I'm stuck in a loop. The conversation gets to "Well....let's play it by ear" and then these pop up and then resets the conversation to "So what are your plans for the summer?". I cannot progress further than this :(... (I'm hitting ignore on those messages and rollback does not work)
This one in particular was acting up when trying to screenshot it and in doing so, shows one of the previous 2 errors instead
Yep, I tried to warn people a couple times about the save game errors. That "not defined" error there is because you used an old save file. Old save files will crash the game. Just delete your old copy of the game and from the main menu, click New Game then Update and you should be good to go :)
If you clicked ignore on any of those, it literally skipped entire scenes so you may wanna go back
Gotcha, thanks for the quick response and sorry about the late reply...I was running around but thought about this all day and was actually in the mindset that I'd have to start all over from the beginning but I wouldn't have minded that at all(unlike how I would with other titles) as your masterpiece is just that enjoyable and worth it! I cannot tell you how much that I enjoyed this title, made me even more comfortable with my Bi side of my sexual orientation, and when I get my freelance art steady and reliable...you better believe I'm gonna swing your Patreon and projects some additional funds(I've donated in the past where I could ;) ) cheers!
Nope, you dont have to start completely over. Just do the New Game/Update thing and you'll be set. Also, glad the game helped you process some stuff. I spent a lot of time in my head, too. No worries on rushing into supporting but thank you on your past financial support and just for being a fan. Good luck on the freelance stuff, too, I hope it works out for ya
Danke für diese wunderschöne achterbahn der gefühle dir und deinem freunde team. Das ist ein hammer höhepunkt an ende. es ist einfach nur fantastisch!
thank you very much. I'm really glad you liked it and the ending. It took me way longer than I wanted it to but I think the extra time paid off
This game has enthralled me so much. I spent most of both my days off playing and still got a bit more to go. I did not think I'd like it this much at all. The story. the story. Such a slow burn but the payoff when it gets there is everything. Enjoying the characters so much. Side characters included. I adore Mikhail and he deserves the best. Also as someone demisexual, I really do relate to one of these characters too much. Giving me a demi vibe from early on tbh. Doing the respected path because I was more comfortable with that but must say I'm intrigued by the idea of how different the other path would be. Not sure if I'll play through it, though. This experience playing this has been really different than any other game I've played. I really applaud the creator.
heya, glad you're liking the story so far. I've mostly avoided labels in this game for many of the reasons that the story outlines, but picking up on demi vibes throughout the game seems very reasonable. In terms of the "routes" in the game, you don't have to play all the way through. The game is linear and then splits with that specific choice for the route. From there, aspects of the game are written vaguely that could apply to both routes. It's basically a subtle tone difference in the game until chapter 9. In Chapter 9, it takes a completely different approach and one scene changes the whole tone of the route. Both routes are designed like that. Rather than have full paths, I wrote one path that could be interpreted two different ways. To me, those ways are independent of each other and cannot co-exist but some readers have chosen to assume they co-exist. But you could just play chapter 9 from the New Game menu and select the other route and you'd get the jist of the story and save yourself time.
But thanks a lot. I appreciate the support and glad you're liking it. I think the game mostly gets better as you play it. I sorta got more comfortable and started doing my own thing and that really paid off to me personally rather than just trying to do a cookie cutter game format
Any chance of a future Brazilian Portuguese translation?
so when it comes to translations, I've been holding off on them. I'm very unsatisified with the beginning of the game so my next focus is going to be redoing it. I'm not changing the story, I'm just polishing it up and doing some coding changes to make it more linear and less annoying. Because of that, the dialogue and writing will change and I don't want to waste anyone's time with translating something that I'm planning on changing. I'm open to translations, I just want something concrete first. But there's actually been quite a bit of interest in Portuguese
This is not a game, it is an experience.. which on so many levels is so relateable that calling it a game would be demeaning..
I'm close to 50 , and this experience feels so familiar to me for close to 40 years now.
Mostly, I stay in the closet because of my mother, who always sent out conflicting signals.. "I would rather not see it, but if you would turn out to be not exactly straight as an arrow I'd accept it... propably..."
She always had my back and helped me though, so I feel I can't dissappoint her now, in her twilight days, sadly.
And for fear of how my colleagues would react, which is silly since I'm a trucker so I spend most of the day alone or talking with customers anyway.
It's in my head always about what others will think and how people will judge me that forever keeps me from coming clean with myself.
Odd.. I've never spoken to anybody about this. Not in real life, and not online. And yet, here I am, admiting to myself and to the world who I really am. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, aaryn.reese !
I'll be certain to keep an eye on this experience to see if any updates are made. and I have maybe an odd question:
I bought a paysafecard exactly to be able to reward some people on here with a little money but the projects I was thinking of supporting use patreon, with a membership thingy, and that just isn't gonna work for me since I don't know for certain if I'll be able to keep paying in the future.
But do you maybe have a means I can use the card to donate it to you? With the emotional thunderstorm you have created in me, I feel like it is the least I could do.. I don't know if private messages are a thing here, but by all means, feel free to drop by, it'd be an honor!
Thank you
Dirk
Hello Dirk,
I don't know you but I appreciate you and your story. I'm humbled to be a part of you saying this for the first time. I'm not that different really. I just took around 55,000 lines of fictional code to say it. It feels weird but the more I say it, the easier it gets. I think you're the first person that I remember calling it an "experience," that's an incredible way to look at it and it makes me smile. I don't think I've created anything worthy of that yet but I don't want to diminish your own individual experience. I think we get out what we put into things. If this has generated self exploration on your part, that's usually a good thing. I think the more people are truly themselves, the happier they are.
In terms of financial stuff, I get weird about that tbh. I don't like taking money from people in the first place. Patreon normally makes that easy and it takes credit cards and stuff which are fairly popular and it places the control of that within the user and not me--which I prefer. However, other things like prepaid cards, it's a little weird about. I don't think itch takes those either. Honestly, it probably depends on the type of card. I honestly don't like people jumping through a lot of hoops just to give me money... I genuinely feel guilty about that. You could try it through here or try it through Patreon to see if it works... I'm not sure. But don't feel obligated or anything. As I've said before, I make the game free for a reason. That can easily apply to people that choose not to have the payment methods that the website I use take. However, if I have a recommendation, I'd try Patreon first, there's more content you unlock for donations over there rather than over here where I can't control what people see or don't see. So if you're gonna try and donate, you may as well get the extra content. Lemme know if it works or anything or if you're not up to that, that's fine, too. I don't wanna blow your offer off but I also don't wanna make you work a lot to give me money, ya know <3
deleted the post due to too much info. ^
No worries. I was actually slow responding over here lately because of the update release and keeping up with comments on the discord and stuff. Hopefully that slowness didn't come across wrong <3
Hey man, you're doing so much for many people, I for one am happy that updates take priority over social media, which is awesome news btw, thank you very much!
The post was mainly me hoping you personally had met people who are as open, understanding and loving as the personages in Straight!?.
That is living the dream, and a total abscence of people like that can lead to some dark places where love don't grow. Self loathing thrives there in abundance though.
Ah well, that was the gist of it, the rest was basically interjecting personal experiences into it which didn't serve any purpose besides feeding a certain sense of emotional exhibitionism,
Anyway, thanks again for your work, past and present, much appreciated!
*edited to add* Not prioritizing money only makes me like you more, Respect man!
Dirk
I usually start the day with answering messages then jump into the writing stuff or game stuff. Depending on what I'm doing with the game or the ideas I have, sometimes that stuff can get pushed back or stall out even. Other times, I'm watching videos and still trying to learn how to do this. After 5 years, you'd think I'd know what I'm doing but it was all so foreign to start with and the amount of things you have to juggle and learn can spread you thin. After updates, though, I usually get hit hard with messages and stuff and I've always made it a mission to answer every one of them. I don't like leaving comments sitting without a reply and people seem to appreciate that.
Hi. I just read all three posts and it's beautiful. I'm not very good with words like you are. But I think that you made a wonderful game. I think that a lot of people came and supported you because you made genuine art that blows people away. Your abilities are great and created the need for more in others. I actually was coming back here because I wanted to recommend you game to a friend of mine who I think could use this game. You're just that good. I've been here from I think when Act 1 was ending. And it's been a wonderful ride, and something that helped me hold on through college. I wanted to thank you for making this game accessible to many, even those how are still trying to get financially stable like me. I one day hope that I become stable enough to donate even a $1 a month for you continue on. If I remember correctly, you had a secret project that you were working on a long while back that only patrons would get a peek at. I wish you well and maybe will live through your friend Blyke's game New Hope. And again Thank you.
PS even though I know the real reason we get a chapter select with the game is due to saves not working between builds. It ended up making this game one of the most special experiences because it meant I got to see all the paths without confusing myself with saves. Getting to see the perverted path and the respected path and the real diverge between the two was great. I thank the misfortune of saves not being good across builds, since it gave me this beautiful gift of chapter select that was unique in a way that I can't put into words other than, made my experience better. And thank you for creating a solution rather than some other creators I've seen that say please deal with it. You cared about all of us, and it showed in the little ways you loved your fans like this. Thank you.
hello,
I feel like I recognize your screen name from somewhere but idk, i may be crazy. Thank you for the long term support and following. You've probably seen a lot of my ups and downs in that amount of time.
So I'll probably ramble here like I do when I write the game text but you hit on one of those random compliments that holds a lot of weight with me and I just wanted to acknowledge that it was really meaningful. You said that you thought your friend could "use this game." It's weird that I really set out to try and create something like that but since I've never done it before, I didn't really know how to. So I just wrote something that moved me and, like Zack, I'm pretty stubborn on some things that can sometimes hold me back. I'm glad that you saw the use in this and it wasn't just another random porn game.
And no worries on the price and accessibility. I wanted to make it accessible and because I wanted the story to matter to people, I didn't want money to hold people back. I think a lot of devs, or even porn games, get super money hungry on things and it's hard to see past that and take it serious. This isn't OnlyFans and I never intended to get rich off it. Still dont and honestly, I feel like I'd feel awkward if I ever accidently did. Please don't worry about the financial support. Seriously. College expenses suck. I still got over 100k in college debt from my college experience so I completely understand. Please don't feel obligated to donate and don't feel less because you're not in a position to support. Others have been more than generous to helping take care of the expenses. You never have to be, if makes you feel better, then consider the story a "gift" and now we're even. You wrote me a thoughtful post about the game and recommended it to a friend, you've more than paid your $1. Thank you in return <3
Sooooo I just read your public thank you.....I already loved your work dearly and I'm always trying to share it with others....you really know how to connect with pple. Lol You seem like a wonderful person based on your creative personality and how you present yourself. I hope you continue to create special moments for pple even outside of your work. I know I don't know you personally but I see great things in your future bc a story like this one takes more than a creative mind. It takes a kind and understanding heart. One that can be vulnerable, supportive and an overall good person. Keep up the good work bc your work seems to really be inspiring pppe in this hateful and judging world we live in. It's not all bad honestly but pple like you help us see the light when things seem so dark. Some sense of direction when there is no where to go.
My bad for running on. Please enjoy the rest of your day and thanks again for what you do
First off, thank you for the support and for sharing the story with others. That's actually how I've managed to get the word out is just mostly from word of mouth. While advertising is nice, it always feels better when others are inspired by the story enough to spread the word for you. I just like the feeling of that so I appreciate it. It's also one of the dozen reasons the game is free.
I'll also say thank you for the more personal compliment. I'm just a regular guy, though, really. There's very much a lot of me in the characters and that includes both positive and negative characteristics. I'll admit that writing this has made me very vulnerable but I wouldn't change that. I like the parts of me, even the not-so-pretty parts that I've managed to capture here. Sorta like I snapshot from where I was compared to where I am now. I'm deeply touched that you see the work as something positive though with everything going on in the world. If I had a vision for it, it would be that. An adult game with heart that has a point and you walk away a different person because of that. It's a super niche focus but I like it and It feels really good when someone picks up on that so thank you.
Wow! I tried a few games on this platform and this definitely stood out! Honestly, I was primarily going for a nsfw game and this game is not primarily about nsfw—BUT that doesn't change that I'm pretty impressed by the game. It has enough nsfw content, but the plot is strong enough to stand out on its own. The plot doesn't serve the nsfw content, it's deep, it's thoughtful and the slow pacing is realistic. This game is addictive, like literally. I know, the game is still in development, so don't interpret my feedback as harsh. Whatever I criticize now, you might already know and want to change when you go over it. Furthermore, these are small points of criticism, so they don't diminish the quality of the game:
Last but not least, who wrote the verbal exchanges between Zack and Braden? Kudos to them? They are absolutely off the scale. I just love these dialogues 👍🏻
Heya Zuri,
Thanks for checking in and I'm glad the game stood out from such a large website here. The search function around here is also pretty hard to navigate too so I'm glad you stumbled across me however that may have happened.
That being said, I take criticism pretty well and most of the limitations I've had with this story could probably be summarized as inexperience and budget. All of the things you've noted are things that I've either considered or are aware of. Since you took some time to write a lengthy post, I'll do the same for a response. A lot of the "decision" type stuff was something that I slowly moved away from because of organizational problems. When you're mapping these VNs out, choices and the variables can quickly get out of hand. For example, a few years ago, I was trying to do the poker scene and I had every hand have a winner and loser, that alone quickly branched out to like 60 different paths in one scene. It was insane. I'll also admit that my concentration is absolute garbage. If you spent any time in the Discord or talked with me on voicechat, you'd see how quickly I can derail myself. So because of that, I made the conscious decision to limit the choices to a number that I could handle. I decided I'd have less choices and try to do those routes right rather than have choices everywhere and just lose focus on everything. That being said, I plan on doing a revamp based on what I've learned and there will likely be some things added in if I have the budget and time to do it. So we'll see. But yeah... you're totally right. The choices are limited here.
2. Running in circles. So that part is likely going to be fixed on the revamp. The reason that plays out like that is this game started in 2017 and the majority of the adult games were grind-based. You had skill points that you had to grind up by doing the same events over and over and then eventually unlock the next tier. That required more coding skill and to be honest, I'm pretty awful at that so I slowly just moved away from it. I tried to quick fix the beginning but it's still pretty bad to the point that I can't even play it anymore. So I want the story to be more linear like it is post-chapter 3 (I think that's when the circles stopped).
3. Empty school. This one is kinda funny and I'll make fun of myself. Truth is that the reason the school is empty is because of computer issues. When I started, I could only render one model at a time in the screens mostly. That lasted until a *spoiler hint here * certain park scene with motion. After that, I was able to upgrade the computer system I have based on Patreon donations and after that scene, you noticeably see a little more detail. over time, I gradually was able to add more people in until hit about 5 max. Which brings me to the current rig. I now have a new computer based on Patreon donations and I can get about 10 people in and maybe more. The tradeoff is that it takes hours to position all those for every shot so it does slow down production but it looks better. We'll likely see more students in the school during the revamp. In fact, there's a sarcastic dialogue line in the game somewhere where I have one of the characters say that sometimes it feels like they're the only students there--- that's me totally busting myself out :p
4. Dialogue is all me except Blayke, my co-writer wrote the scene in the car where they're driving to a sandy location. If you spent 5 minutes talking to me, you'd know where that dialogue came from, lol. I write exactly like I talk :P
Heya Aaryn,
Thank you for your equally lengthy reply! I don't know, how I found it. I played three other games before, but yours was the only one that made me literally addicted. Funny that this is not the only time, I was looking for nsfw stuff and ended up with something not primarily nsfw that I absolutely love ^^
Yeah, I absolutely see your point. Maybe I should add that I'm a web application developer, so I know what coding is like. However, despite looking into game development a couple of times, I always had loads of respect for those who choose that field of software development since the focus is pretty much on details that happen in a split second or influence almost every other detail during the progress of playing the game.
What I called "decisions" could be roughly divided into two or three sub categories: On one hand, we have the "influential decisions" that would make stuff quite complicated as you said, but then we have more like "conversation topics" that don't matter, and the player can just decide the order in which they take place or skip them. I don't say, that a game should be cluttered with decisions, I sometimes get bored when I have to click over and over again without being challenged with making decisions every now and then—I hope, that makes sense. Or to put it a little different: If it feels more like a continuous movie, maybe the dialogue should proceed without me having to click all the time :D Especially the inner monologues at night, where the background is all black could be over the whole screen to have fewer pieces to click through.
3. Yeah, I like your meta jokes very much. It's good to have that kind of humor as a creator 👍🏻 Thanks for sharing a few technical details with me. I am constantly curious how this or that was implemented.
4. Actually, I haven't talked to you yet, but it sounds like it would be great fun, and I'd be a fool if I miss out on a chance to. However, I neither
have Discord nor Patreon—turns out, I'm a fool after all.
haha, no worries on the Discord or Patreon. I'll be uploading the update over here 3 weeks after I release it on Patreon. The Patreon donations just help with all the expenses and stuff so they get first dibs.
And yep, I agree with you on the decisions and stuff. So one thing you may not have considered (and honestly I still can't get over this part even after a few years now). But one problem with putting large reading sections on the screen at the same time deals with non-English speaking readers. I honestly still don't know how non-English readers can get through my writing with all the generational slang but thousands do. But there's been loads of people that will copy this game into Google translate line by line. You simply can't do that when you make it into a movie or animated sequence. There's one sequence that has words on it in the game and I didn't do any more than that because I didn't wanna leave the non-English speakers out. I assume that copying that into translate would be just as complicated if I loaded a wall of text as a slide (kinda like I did my giant damn thank you page).
Another weird writing quirk I apparently had with this project is that I frequently say that I "lost control of the characters." At some point, this story began writing itself and I found myself, even as the writer, not really having choices on what they did. That sorta got passed down to the reader as well. I figured if I didn't get a say in this outcome anymore, than neither is the reader. We're in it together and for some reason, I kinda like that. The fact that I couldn't control outcomes made me more anxious as nervous as a reader. The tense scenes seemed more tense because i couldn't go back and choose something better to rescue them. I kinda like that
Donating works from over here as well ^^ And honestly, the game is worth every cent, possibly more. And you really deserve that for the effort you put into all of this.
As a non-native speaker, I can tell that I have seen "worse"- Your writing didn't bother me and I don't recall any hard to read parts. People might wanna switch from Google Translate to Deepl.com. That one uses neural language processing (fascinating topic tbh) and translations feel quite natural. Have you considered making the game multi-language by letting the community input translations? But that might be a lot of extra work. I just thought, if they already kinda did that for themselves, they might wanna share it with others this way. Yeah, I imagined my solution looking kinda like your thank you page indeed.
Here's another thought, I just had on this: Maybe, some people want to skip optional monologues. How do you feel about adding something like a "page x of y" (maybe more like "(x/y)") on the bottom?
I absolutely what you mean about that aspect of writing. This is sometimes just wild. It often times feels like the story already exists out there (Plato might have called that "World of Forms"—sorry for getting philosophical ^^) and it somewhat just flows through you, your arm, your hand, your fingers and your pen onto the piece of paper or the keyboard onto the screen. Another thing I do while plotting for a story, I wait for an idea to ripe. Sometimes, the way, I wanted that one subplot to play out, just doesn't feel right to one of my characters. In that case, I wait longer until the character comes up with a slight alteration that keeps the general idea intact while making it coherent for the character to decide or act a certain way toward a specific goal.
I'm pretty sure, Ash wouldn't have played the game :D Don't tell me, you didn't have him say that on purpose :P
I just finished v0.20.5, and you absolutely killed it with the "Never have I ever" bar scene. I was laughing my ass off and with every line of dialogue I thought, you couldn't top that, but boy was I wrong! I said it before, and I say it even more now: There was sex in there, and it was good, but it was nothing compared to characters, story, emotions and humor. I could finish the character's sentences—that's how well you introduced us to each of them. In the spirit of 'honest day' I have to admit that I couldn't help but join them playing 'Never have I ever'—it was just too much fun—well, I know, it is ridiculous. I actually don't remember the last time I laughed THAT much. You should really consider, continuing to use your talent—I'd so love to see more of that, and I'd miss it, if I couldn't. Your frienda must enjoy playing drinking games with you so much! And you were right about the language thing: I actually had to look stuff up 😅—not much, but still.
First of all to say that I just registered because I can't do anything else but think about this game and I want to share my opinions. Before clarifying that English is not my first language and I'm not very good at speaking it.
Something that has caught my attention in the story is how connected I feel with the characters even though I personally haven't experienced practically any of the situations they suffer. I have fallen in love with Zack and Braden, they are very complex and three-dimensional characters, with tastes, fears, emotions, ways of speaking, moving, etc.
By the way, applaud the improvement that can be seen, comparing the last chapters with the first ones shows the great improvement in the game as well as in the script.
It is not a criticism that I want to comment on below, it is more a personal opinion that nobody should care about, but I feel that the characters are too handsome and perhaps it makes me realize that I am in a game.
The relationships between the characters are very realistic, they feel like people I could meet at any time but I must say that my absolute favorite and without a doubt is Braden, and I think that within the internal problems of each character he is the one that interests me the most, I really liked that conversation with Zack about his orientation after arriving in the new bedrooms and the bathroom scene and I'm curious to see the answer to his questions, although I have my own opinion on that subject I can't stop thinking about the conclusion to the one that Braden can reach. AND I LOVE BRADEN WITH GLASSES.
I don't like the original dormitory building, it reminds me of my college building and brings back bad memories because it's identical and every time I went to that building it was to find out very important news.
Finally to say that I have a mixture of love and hate for the game, I love it because it is great, wonderful and I have been playing it non-stop since I started. The bad thing is that when I finished it I felt empty, I tried to play other things or watch some series or movie but I can't concentrate because I keep thinking about what is going to happen to Zack and Braden and others.
Very good job, I love the game.
heya,
So first off: you English is very good so no worries at all. I continue to be amazed that people who do not have English as a first language are able to understand this story. Unfortunately, I write with a lot of slang and I purposely try to use slang and references from different generations throughout the story just to try and make it appeal to different age demographics. I just never imagined that it would go world-wide like it has. It's just really cool when I'm able to still get some of those points across even though there can be a huge language barrier for a lot of readers.
I'm also glad you appreciate the game improvements. I had no clue what I was doing when I started so I'm very much learning as I go. It's funny now that I wrote the damn thing and I can't even make it through the beginning because I think it's so bad now. It really needs fixed so I'll be going back to update the game based on what I learned so hopefully it'll look more consistent in the future.
I appreciate your mixed love and hate for the game and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Stay tuned, it's almost done.
Have to agree to AbelCain... you made the game in a very smart, decent and emotional way, so that we could connect to the characters easily. Remember and connect own experiences and actually feel something for Zack and Braden. So of course we will miss them, when the game is done.
That's why I'm taking my time with the game very slowly, enjoying every scene, noticing every word and expression..
Maybe you'll be able to set up something in the future, which will make it easy to re-connect to that.. ;-)
I actually prefer if people take the game slower but I can't honestly tell if that's just the spoiled dev side of me that wants the amount of work put in to actually pay off and last. It's crazy how quickly people can blow through content that takes you months to do, but we see that in AAA studios, too, so it's not just an indie problem. Just don't go too slow or you'll more of the stuff that I still gotta fix :p
Hi Aaryn,
I'm blown away at everything about this game!
The depth of the psychology you've brought to the narrative is brilliant, you can tell it's your major. It helped to build the characters and draw us in on an amazing level.
I understand the mix of story vs 'porn'...although personally I don't view it as such, I see it as the intimacy you can read in most romance novels, it shows their inexperience and their connectivity with each other to explore such a nerve wracking human experience together...and be comfortable with each other with doing so. Amazing work!
I know many people have expressed how they too see themselves in Zack and Bradens journey...even Mikhail and Max's. But its true. People seem to forget that not so long ago being gay was a hidden thing...and in far too many places today is still seen as wrong, evil, and even illegal. So the internalised homophobia is something all too common. Some don't even face it, or are lucky to find people that can let us be who we truly are without shame or judgement.
But I'm going off on a tangent here. Just know, regardless of some others, your content is amazing. It has touched many people...and truly as others have said, this needs to be out there more.
Well done! Keep doing you.
You've got a fan base regardless of some other opinions.
Thanks a lot. I'm glad you appreciate the weird mix of things I did here. The sex stuff is meant, as you said it, to be more about exploration and intimacy than it is about porn. I think the adult genre can be more than what it is and has been and I've tried to hold myself to a higher standard with capturing that. In general, i don't like censorship and I try to not censor things with this story so we definitely have to include the adult stuff. Sometimes that's erotic and other times it's just funny or even tragic how bad they are, lol. But that's a lot of us. We're clumsy when we're in uncharted territory and that's what I wanted to capture with a coming of age tale here. However, in other scenes I've purposely censored some nudity and stuff because I didn't want people paying attention to physical stuff there-- I wanted them to focus on the character dialogue or the events or other things that just felt important to me.
The story is as deep as I, personally, needed it to be. As you stated with internalized homophobia. Much of that is things that I've grew up around and internalized myself and it comes out in these characters and I wanted them to confront that. I've publicly said that this story isn't a solution to that, it's just me capturing my own solution to that and I continue to be humbled by the amount of people that it's touched as well. It's nice to share something positive on the internet for a change and it's insane how many people this story and the community have affected. I'll never stop being thankful for that. I appreciate your kind words. I just did another Patreon post today with an update outline but I'm dropping the end of the story this month so stay tuned and I hope I do it justice. I've fretted over this ending long enough.
Please check the social media links or the links posted above on the game development. It can be pretty frustrating when I make the game for free and people like to point out that it's not being made quickly enough for them.
Your genuine question was riddled with sarcasm, whether you're going to admit that or not. The game IS FREE to play, and will always be FREE to play - Patreon subscriptions are there primarily to help fund a FREE to play game, and provide people with consistent progress updates and supplementary content - such as the Selfie sets.
If you were a £4 Patreon Supporter you should have been well aware with the current update progress, as there have been several posts in regards to it. We are very transparent with how each update progresses - whether that be on our public Twitter pages, Discord server or Patreon.
The amount of hours we put into this game is beyond the normal hours for a normal day job. The planning, writing, CG creation- it's all done with a very small team of 3 people, two of which have day jobs too. Game creation takes a lot of time, especially if you give a shit about the content you're making and want to release a quality product.
We thank you for your support up to this point, and hopefully you understand the process a little bit better and know where you can find updates on the game progression in future.
Lemlin67,
There's a lot to unpack here but asking you to be polite on a public forum is not a toxic trait. I'm truly sorry you've missed the point of this story and why I'm doing this despite my frequent posts as public comments here, Twitter, my Patreon, F95zone, and Discord. I'm unsure why you think there's no content when there's 30 Patreon posts between December 2, 2021, and today (June 28, 2022). Some of those are about the game and some are supplemental content. But this is itch, so I'm not sure why you're talking about Patreon content here when you could have messaged me on there. I'm pretty approachable.
The game is free. I post it for free. People donating money to the project is not the same thing as charging for it. Do I accept donations? Yes. Because making this requires supplies and has cost me thousands of dollars to make because I do it legally rather than pirate the assets. I'm fine with that. But if people want to chip in and help out with that, I'll reluctantly accept the money and I appreciate it beyond words. You can make your own decision on whether you think I'm genuine in that; I have no control over your assumptions. If you've read even one of my posts, I'm sure you could tell where my heart is. Many of my Patreon posts are public and free so anyone is able to see that and I would encourage you to go back and look at any of those if there is debate.
I appreciate "support" and that is not the same thing as money. Throwing money at something does not mean you support it. I don't want money and I certainly don't want money from sources that have made false judgements about me or have name called people on a public forum after self-identifying as "genuine" like you did to another user below.
Please respond with your Patreon user name and I will gladly refund you. Patreon billing only allows me to refund the past 3 months. If you've donated for more than that, I will refund what I'm able to and donate the rest to a charity and post a screenshot publicly because I'm not interested in keeping your donation when you harbor such ill feelings about my project.
The Trevor Project thanks you for your generous $50 USD donation. I matched your donation to my project with a little interest.
Also, for anyone else interested, I just realized that the Trevor Project is matching all donations this Pride month at 100%. If you would like to donate, it's one of my favs but it is US based to my knowledge. You can find out more here:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with organizations in the UK otherwise I would have directed the funds back in that direction. Regardless of your blocking, I hope you find happiness in this life.
I'm just popping in so I can't see the original question/comment.
I'm a little confused as any information needed is readily available. If you are a patron as well, I don't see why you wouldn't message directly rather than try to create drama on a public forum.
Furthermore, developing any game is expensive (AAA games are something around $80-100 million) and time consuming, but there has never been a requirement to pay.
This team has put their heart and soul into this as a passion project, not something to make money off of.
The last piece I want to say (and I hate being this bitchy) is get over yourself. its £4 you were never even asked to pay and if you take your head out of your ass, you would see there are constant improvements being done and shown as well as other non-canon content to hold everyone over while the story is being written and perfected.
I hope that one day you can see just how much has been put into this and the countless people it has helped in so many different ways.
Heya,
Yes, the OP appears to have been deleted. While I'm able to ban people or delete posts from the page, I normally do not do that (The exception being when someone deletes a post and I just purge it to clean up the page). However, in this case, my assumption is that the OP deleted the post because I did not. I don't like censoring comments just like I don't like censoring the game writing. I did however report two of the comments simply because they were attacking another user directly and there's just never any need for that. But enough about that, let me briefly and objectively summarize some reactions to some other points that you made regarding game development.
Yes. It's expensive. You mention AAA studios and the budgets. It's crazy how much this costs and how much time it takes. Regarding what the OP originally stated, there's an expectation that game updates for games such as mine will occur monthly. With Patreon, people pay on a monthly basis so if they're paying, they like to see something immediately for their money. I have two reactions to this:
1) People that pump out monthly updates normally release very small updates (usually 10 or 20 minutes of gameplay). In contrast, Straight releases much less frequently but the there's more content because I just like being able to sit longer and have time to actually dive back into the world. Releasing 10 minutes of this story, imo, wouldn't give us enough time to have emotional reactions to the situations so I spend time and drop an update that usually takes around 90 minutes or so to get through. Buuuut, it takes me like 6 months average to pump those out anymore. This story also comes from the heart so I have to feel this out. Because of the inconsistency and my own inexperience with doing this, I have always refused to charge for the project because I don't know when I'll get the updates out. I care about them so I want them to be good. If you wanna chip in money for the project, it's appreciated but never required. There's a million ways people can be supportive of this project without paying or donating.
2) While I disagree with the OP tone and profanity towards other people, I will objectively piggyback off one comment that he directed towards me: The indie dev community is actually pretty toxic and inconsistent. Games like this get abandoned constantly. In fact, I would argue that abandoned games are actually the norm--especially in this genre. Many devs are super money hungry and it's created a culture where followers have a right to be skeptical and mistrusting of them. Some have publicly admitted later that they put out a couple good game updates as bait and then abandoned the game but left Patreon turned on to autobill people for months or years. Another popular trope is that indie game devs in this genre will have some sort of mental health crisis that delays updates but ironically the billing stays turned on *eyeroll*. Honestly, it's terrible and something that I'm very conscious of. When you're honest with people, that's the last thing you want people to think. But I've also learned that some people have an extraordinary ability to jump to conclusions on the internet and I have no control over that. I have a good 5 years of posts on here, Patreon, f95zone, and Discord that I feel adequately illustrate where my heart is with this community and with the project. All of those posts are available publicly and I would encourage people to look at them if they've attached any conspiracy theories to me.
I started this project in 2017 and have consistently put out updates. The overwhelming feedback that I have received over the years is that each update was better than the previous one. I have a track record with the project and I have enough respect for the community and these characters to finish this. Throughout the process, as you stated, the art has improved and the quality of the writing has improved--unfortunately that translates into the project taking longer each time but people enjoy it and I honestly enjoy it. Ironically, it's usually the players donating that are telling me to take a day off; and while I appreciate that and it's reassuring-- it'll never be taken advantage of. The game will be finished and everyone will have access to it without the need to pay for it.
In short, do I mind if people ask when the next update is? Nope. I also understand that a lot of people don't follow other sources of social media and things like that. People are always welcome to ask (just don't spam me because then I spend half my day answering the same question). However, over the years about 3 people have gotten an attitude about the game updates and they want them now and for free and there's zero respect there at all. Just be nice when you're on the internet and remember that there's other people on the end of the screen. People have been very supportive of this project and I've only gotten hate from like 3 people over the years but I definitely see entitlement with other projects and I will get defensive if I see that attitude creeping near this one.
Yours is the first game of this type I ever played, so I pay special attention. I've tried to read every post and see the journey to create what you have. I am easily the type that gets frustrated when I binge all the available content of something I like. the difference is that you guys communicate everything. as ive started supporting more games and content creators I have started to see the "mental health excuse."
I have not seen you do this.
there is a fairly consistent stream of information or content so I was dumb struck seeing someone get upset especially on a public forum.
On the main subject of indie games being abandoned as being the norm...why does that matter? this is not every indie game, and you are not every developer.
haven't we learned not to stereotype or generalize? haha
I will say I am so glad that that you've only had 3 people over the years give you hate.
and again im sorry for getting a little inappropriate in my comment.
I just tend to become very overprotective.
Reported this troll...don't let him get to you, you've been working your ass off on this story for years and clearly he doesn't understand how to appreciate the amazing story you've put together and the amount of time invested...or that its available for free for those who choose to read the itch and patreon pages -.-.
LOL. dick head. report me to whoever you want. Kiss my arse.why not report the dev to patreon for taking £10k with nothing in return. Keep feeding him cash you suckers
Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah, I feel like I'm pretty open. Sometimes it takes me a little longer to do things cause I'm learning as I go. I'm a psych major, not a game developer. I sorta just fell into this and people responded to it and it's something I want to finish <3
Try to ignore such comments. Every morning there is a weird guy in a strange mood somewhere opening his eyes..
Doesn't mean that you did something wrong at all. And the majority here greatly appreciates your work, so don't mind.
No worries. I do. I literally have thousands of letters over the years and like 3 people that have yelled at me. That's pretty good. Most of the people that go off about things on the internet are usually unhappy about more than just the thing they're complaining about. I hope those kinds of people find happiness some day. Being angry at everyone is no way to live.
Hi Aaryn,
initially found a video of your game on a more sexually focused platform. I watched it out of curiousity and it tollay blew me up! I had almost that same kind of story with my first boyfriend at High School when I was just 16.. he and me met almost the same way. In the same innocent, but almost "straight" manner starting in 1990. All the dialogues not only could have happened but actually did happen nearly the same way. Even in the face expressions of the guys in the game, I found my own former reality reflected. Really astonishing work! I had the fortune to have continued this journey of basically two more or less straight young men falling for each other till I was 26, so almost 10 years. Then he decided that he wanted to have some sexual experience with women too and he left. It almost broke me. Even as a bi-sexual and able to understand his wish, I loved him for ten years from day 1-to the last with the same intensity.. and after he left, I knew, that this was most probably not going to happen another time in my life. I missed him much the following years. We shared time in a very special moment of yourself starting to get an adult and having many experiences together for the first time in life. Today I'm even more appreciating this precious gift, life has given to me. Your sensitive and decent story telling and the buildup of the real characters was a masterpiece. I really feel connected to Braden and Zack. Almost as being together with them and experiencing and exploring things day by day. You have put everything in the right place. It was like a timemaschine for me and at the same time it was some kind of comfort for own experiences seeing so completely shared by another man experiencing the same. Thank you for that! I would wish and could imagine, that you are not already completely through your own inner story and memories, so you might consider a second part of this (?) Maybe again with Zack and Braden or maybe in a different way based on your experiences and inner sights you have gained through all this. Thank you bro for giving this touching emotional journey to us!
I always appreciate these stories. It's just crazy that I keep hearing from from multiple demographics and time periods, and places around the world. I appreciate your message and thank you for sharing your own story. I'm glad I could take you back one more time <3
Thanks for your kind reply. I'm taking my time and going along with the story very slowly. Had to smile when it has come up to the first massage scene, with Zack sitting on Bradens back. So funny.. cause with massage my friend got me in these times. I was 16 and felt completely straight. He was 15 and had to persuade me to let it happen. When he had finished.. I was emotionally completely confused for the following days. And from there on, we started to do it again, sometimes many times a week..till we passed the line, that is determined to be passed that way.. ;-)
I tried to make a realistic progression. A lot of people just try and play games like this for the adult content so I sorta eased some of that in but only for the sake of story building. I wanted it to feel organic and realistic the way a relationship could. It was kinda fun to take a lot of those natural situations that seem become porn cliches and make them actually have some substance to them. It's a long story so you got a long way to go and honestly i think the beginning is the worst part. I promise I get better
have a femboy or trans characters?
Heya,
Unfortunately, there are no trans or femboy characters in the game. I've done a post that I'll link here as well as this post on why the letters of "straight" are in red here. Both posts are sorta related to your question. But to quickly summarize, I was mostly focusing and using characters with things that I needed to personally work through or things that, in my particular cultural area, were things that were difficult for me to accept about sexuality. I'm very straight acting and I'm ok with that. I wanted to depict a world in which that could still exist because it's something I'm very comfortable with but without it being assumed it was toxic masculinity. In this vein, femboy characters were sorta avoided because it didn't fit the particular narrative that I was personally trying to work through as well as me feeling that since I'm uber straight acting, that I wouldn't be able to write a femboy character with any type of justice. I've never written anything before so I tried to stick with what was familiar to me personally. Which leads to the trans character question which sorta has the same answer. It's not something that I personally had any experience with. This game focuses A LOT on the mind of a very straight acting gay character. There's a lot of psych and a lot of internal processing in the narrative and I simply just wasn't able to do that with a trans character because it's not something that I've experienced. I'm sure there's plenty of trans authors/writers/coders/artists-- just creators in general-- that could do that role with a lot more justice and introspection that I ever could have so I'd rather they did that and I'll gladly shine a spotlight in their direction. I'll stick to my bro dramas for now until I figure out how to objectively write better. Hopefully, that made sense, if not, then hit me up or check out those posts for more depth on what I was personally trying to accomplish with this project.
I absolutely loved this visual novel.
I finished it up to the cliff-hanger "to be concluded." I am definitely looking forward to the reworkings of the initial chapters, including the enhanced graphics, added music and revised writing that I saw mentioned in an update. The current state of the story is... wow, damn good. I cannot accurately describe how amazing this story is. I think the greatest aspect of this game is the writing, and to me it was an excellent, introspective work. I also really liked the art and character designs even though they're (I guess) still in a rough draft form. So with the game, while playing, I actually started questioning my own self and my life choices leading up to now. Even though the story revolved around two young male characters' issues related to sexuality and authenticity, I still could relate as a mid-20s/trans-F. For instance, Zack's internalized homophobia and him hiding his true self for so long, as well as Braden's confusion on his own identity and his issue with dealing with the public's perception of him, resonated with me as someone who is beginning to question my own identity as possibly "non-binary" and who has had internalized transphobia in the past. I really liked the inclusion of Mikhail and Max (Ash), they were incredible characters who offered unique perspectives to the two main cast. Team Ash. The gradual build-up of the plot was done very well, and I felt like the sensual scenes near the end were normalized.
So yeah! Those are a couple of my thoughts on the story, and I am just obsessed. It was so good and I will stay tuned for new updates. Rooting for you guys because I think this game needs way more recognition. What were some game/media inspirations? This game gives me Life is Strange vibes, but with more mature content.
P.S. I listened to lo-fi hip-hop while playing and it.. oddly fit the vibe. Haha.
heya Kami, thanks for the feedback and comments.
So on the rework, the models would stay the same but I'm sure you've noticed that the beginning of the game is poorly lit and just looks crappy. The idea is to make the beginning look graphically like the ending does. The game is just me progressively getting better I think.
I'm also glad that you were able to relate to parts of the game even though (and I just made a few comments like this in the post above) that it was sorta designed as a bro game. I wrote what I was comfortable with but a lot of existential thought and self discovery is very personal revelations but the focus or method of accepting those can be a bit more general. I'm glad it holds up to someone who has a very different orientation than I do and that it just seemed "normalized" to you.
I appreciate the desire for the game to get more recognition. I'm pretty lowkey and don't market very well. It's also my first project and I've gotten way more out of this than I ever imagined that I would so I don't need all the attention. I'm certainly thankful for what I've gotten and continue to get. But i do hope that it finds it's way into the hands and hearts of people that could find meaning from it.
I find it cool how you channeled your own experiences into the game, it makes it more meaningful and intimate. And yeah, I think the writing in the game, in comparison to other male-on-male romance novels out there that I know of, is so much more personal that the reader can actually empathize with the characters. That's a great thing. It's almost like Zack and Braden actually exist in maybe an alternate universe, haha.
On a side note, is the Discord server accepting new members?
Oh for sure, the Discord is free and always open to people. The only real limitation is that it's 18+ like the game is and we try and keep drama to a minimum. We try to be a pretty chill community that's pretty accepting of people. Pop in if you wanna say hey. I usually try and greet everyone but sometimes I got windows up working on stuff so I miss them. If you join, say hey and tag me if I miss you. We regularly interact with people.
How old is everyone?
um... so they all state or imply ages at some point during the story but since we're coming to the end of a semester or year, you could imply an extra year if you wanted. But canonically Braden is 18, Zack is 19, Mikhail is 19 and you could assume that Ash is probably 19 or maybe 20... him and Mikhail are pretty close in my head tho. Although Cody is pretty popular with the fanboys, I've never actually given him an age in game.
Well, well, well... your team definitely did a good job of reeling the reader in and pulling on their heartstrings. **SPOILER** I have to vaguely mention the "cheating" scene because my heart was so crushed; it's the only reason why I made this account to rage, however, you got me so f-ing good!🤣😭 In all seriousness though, the story immersion is impeccable you undeniably have a talent for story telling! Please continue :)
heh, sorry about the bouncing emotions on that scene. It was designed that way on purpose but not only for the fake out. A lot of the game confronts things--either things that I personally struggled with or things that I feel hold a lot of people back from positive experiences in relationships. That scene in particular was supposed to confront how quickly people make assumptions about the behaviors of others just because media has sorta groomed us to think that way. Early Mikhail scenes were the same way. Glad I got ya tho. I think it's hard to write those fake out scenes and actually make them pack the punch you want, ya know? Thanks for the support though and thank you for making an account just to rage at me :p
played this game over the span of a few days, about a week ago? wasnt going to write a comment or review, because i never do on this website.
but i just CANNOT stop thinking about this game. i am so connected to this game, the characters and the storyline just mean so much to me. as someone who has struggled with my identity (sexual, romantic, and gender) seeing a representation of queer romance where its not overly sexualized but still clearly a relationship between two adults is just so heartwarming. i played the romantic route and it just made me so unbelievably happy.
when they were sad i was sad, when they were happy i was happy, and when they got fluffy and romantic i couldnt help but get excited.
thank you for such an amazing game, im so excited to see more! <3
This is honestly a reaction that I never get tired of: the people who make accounts just because they can't stop thinking about the game. I'm glad to have moved you in such a way because the journey has moved me as well. Thank you for walking with us :)
havent played this game in awhile and...i finally played and i loved every part of it. its sad seeing this split but all good things end eventually, hopefully they will reunite but for now it is what it is. im looking forward to the rest,
Writing the end is just as bittersweet. I'm glad you enjoyed it <3
@aaryn.reese - Over 50 years ago I lived this very wonderfully presented story for two and a half years. Yes, some differences, actually many differences, but the core plot gay young man and 'Straight!?' young man for just one very special person hit me to the very center of my soul. I made one massive mistake, I followed a career instead of my heart and lost that very special person as a soul mate. We've remained friends but I sorely regret that mistake. Thank you for reminding me that the core of ones existence is how one commits to the ones we love.
I'm glad the game brought back some old memories and I'm also glad that some things are timeless--that someone who experienced a story similar to this 50 years ago, can still relate to something written too. I really tried to write this in somewhat of a generic fashion, weaving in slang from multiple time periods and trying to give a lot of different age groups something to ground them to their generation. Glad to hear it held up with you. Thanks a lot <3
I don't have a clue as too wether or not you'll believe this, but since I wrote my original post to you, I've made connection with the party that your game brought back so many memories of. He's in troubled times once again, lost his job due to Covid. Strange how life ebbs and flows. Thanks very much.
Doesn't have to make sense. Sometimes it's just the way of things. I wish you luck on your journey and hope both you and him find peace with whatever direction it may go <3